You Only Live Once

God, they're everywhere now. Faith, Hope, Charity. It makes me sick to my stomach. Before you write me off as a cruel bastard, I'm not talking about the act of charity or having faith or hope...I'm talking about idiots who think it's a good set of names for their children. I think they must be screwing with me. Who actually came up with the idea that these were good choices? Destiny is another one. Fuck off, I thought we'd got past the age of stupid traditions and entered a world of reason and logic. Though there is that G.K Chesterton quote (which a certain someone will enjoy.) "It's the first effect of not believing in God that you lose your common sense." 


I'm not saying I fundamentally agree with that idea, being an atheist myself. However, if you believe in nothing, which we've started to in today's modern world, then you start believing in anything people throw at you. Human psychology, I believe, needs some sort of belief system to cling to, it's what defines us as a person right? This is why you have Scientologists, this is why you have shows like Most Haunted springing up and that whack job Derek Acorah. These are people who know they can make money off of other people's desire to belief in some sort of an afterlife. That's why we try and believe in ghosts, so we can kid ourselves into thinking there's more after this life. Perhaps there is such a thing as ghosts, but I'm not going to believe it until it hits me directly in the face with its ghost bum. The song by the way is one by The Strokes, and don't believe in ghosts because...'You Only Live Once.' 


The point I'm trying to make is that these stupid names are just one example of this new found love for believing in what is essentially bollocks. If you name your child Destiny, do you really think they'll have a big impact in the world? No of course not. Give them a normal fucking name like James or Mira and as an added bonus, they won't get bullied at school. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not THAT bothered by kids having these names. It's the parent's choice, but I do see as part of something bigger, which is this sudden acceptance of many crocks of shit.


For instance, mediums on television who claim to be able to contact others from beyond the grave. Even if we assume that there is life after death, why would some of us be granted this phenomenal power? It makes no sense. Also, for people waiting for me to finish so they can jump to the defence of such class idiots as Colin Fry, I'm aware that cold-reading is possible but that doesn't mean you're talking to the dead. Derren Brown actually performed cold-reading and did it better than a 'qualified' medium. It's not exactly a hidden talent. 


If you just flick through television channels you can stumble upon this rubbish. As mentioned, there's Colin Fry's show. Derek Acorah's the biggest fake on television. The pinnacle moment of fraud for him was during his infamous Michael Jackson seance on Sky One. That was a barrel of laughs. What made me confused is that he didn't ask Michael if his doctor had killed him, as some believed. No, he asked him to say hello to the four most desperate people I've ever seen. Why the fuck would he want to say hello to them? He didn't know or love them. YEAH, dead inside am I? Well at least I don't believe that MJ is still alive in heaven. At the end, when asked "What would you say to people who are skeptical?" He replied in a masterful way "They can be." Thanks Derek, that makes me really believe that you contacted the late King of Pop and talked to him from beyond the grave. Fuck off. 


If you're lazy like me and don't want to channel surf too far, just stumble onto Deal or No Deal which seems to always be on E4 all of the time, well until Friends is on. Yeah, ol' Noel Edmonds believes in that Cosmic Ordering mumbo jumbo and that's why he continuously makes out that Deal or No Deal requires some sort of thought to the game. When really, a four year old who is still incontinent could play, and probably win the 250,000. 


There's an unbelievably long list of these times when people have lost their minds and just decided "I'm going to stop using reason and tell people all about my new found belief in (insert ridiculous notion here.)" I'm going to leave you with a final one, one which made my friend Sam incredibly annoyed. He's very interested in Astronomy and loves to watch and study stars and planets through his telescope. I once told someone that he liked astrology. Bad move. This is the belief that the movements of the planets some how have an effect over are lives. Personally, I don't think we're completely free (but let's not discuss that big issue now). However, I would not say that my actions are anyway determined by the alignment of Mars with some cosmo inter galactic battleship. 


Before you begin to hate me for my callous handling of people's beliefs, at least let me say why I'm so frustrated at these new ideas about our world. It's because they are all moments where reason has been lost and blind faith has taken over. Organised religion like Judaism or Hinduism may not be what I want to sign up for, but they aren't hurting anyone. Mediums make money off other people's grief, Scientology was set up with the purpose of making money in mind, naming your child Charity will get her mercilessly bullied "CHARITY CASE!" and if you tell someone that because they're a Pices they will definitely find love round the corner, you will be lying. All we need to do is step back, take a long hard look at society and shoot those who the rational mind says don't deserve life. Or we could just go join a cult. 


Either way, go away.