Wow, it feels weird to have to work! I had five days training this week, as I have joined the pride of Tesco's Phone Shop. I won't start until Sept 9th when the phone shop opens. Come to me for all your contract needs, yeah fuckers? (That's how I speak to all my customers.) I am very tired after all the information we had to intake at once, considering since June 16th when I finished my exams, I have literally done sod-all. I have eaten a lot of pizza, watched too much football and gone out a couple of times! I am either a loser or I'm just lazy. Either one will not get me 'sexy time' any time soon. Brilliant.
As I am so tired, I couldn't be fucked to go out tonight properly. Someone invited me to go to a club. The title of this blog is another Blur song, and I thought fitting in a slightly ironic sense... for I am not on the way to the club, and this brings me to my main topic that I will be ranting about in my usual brilliant style. I am brilliant, despite nobody recognising it yet. If you want to show how much you love me, just post on my wall on face book when it's my birthday so it looks like you give a damn about me, when really you just noticed face book was bugging you by shouting through the screen "It's James Wallis' Birthday, I know you hate him, but as you're not doing anything GO WISH HIM HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" Yes, don't do it really, because I'm not bothered, I was making a side point about how stupid that social action is.
As I was saying before I got distracted by another thing in this miserable existence that angers the hell out of me. Clubs and bars, god they're shit. Don't even try and justify that you have a good night because the only reason you do is because of alcohol. Can you imagine if they had a no alcohol night? People would die of boredom. If you need alcohol to have a good night out, something is seriously wrong with your life. Now, I'm not a completely against alcohol, I do quite fancy the odd drink or two down the local pub. However, getting so wasted that you either pass out or throw up over that girl you were failing to chat up isn't my idea of a good time.
Also, why would you want to be in that position? If you're so drunk that you're not really aware of what's going on, so many bad things can happen. I've got five choice examples for you. *
1) You get butt fucked
You may laugh, but it could happen to you. You're out with 'the lads', you get so drunk that you don't even know who's who. Before you know it, Steve from Norwich, who's a little bit lonely, has led you outside "To let you get air" and before you know it, he's pulling down your trousers....well you can fill in the details for yourself.
2) You say something really stupid or offensive
People who are drunk will do two things, say the truth or just chat shit. What if you don't really like someone from school? You see them out, and your brain says "My reason has shut down." Your mouth says "OY, You're a fucking cock!" Then you laugh while they slowly stumble away, too drunk to cry. They'll remember, and your excuse if they bring it up? I was drunk...nice one.
3) You throw up/pass out
Alcohol, especially if you can't handle it, will make you throw up or pass out. The worst is when you do both! Imagine lying in your own sick. Or if you're with a friend, lying in someone else's. Add to the fact in the dark you look like an oddly shaped urinal. Have someone piss all over your stinking, inebriated body sounds like a right laugh.
4) You'll do something you regret
Either you'll make out with someone you don't know, fuck someone you don't know or worst case scenario do either of those when you're in a relationship. Being drunk is not a good excuse ass hole. And don't get so drunk that you can't say "Back off bitch/you bastard" (Change based on gender.
5) You get lost on the way home
This may not seem that serious, but if you can't find your way home, you'll be walking for ages because you can't co-ordinate the right route because your short term memory has been blown up with an alcohol overload. Before you know it a 'taxi' picks you up. Next thing, you're in the river because that 'taxi' was actually a random serial killer. We won't mourn your passing, people will just call you stupid.
So now we've established that alcohol could get you killed...it's also bloody expensive. I know people who go out almost every night, get pissed off their head. With that money they've spent on alcohol, they could have bought a mortgage. People complain about house prices, they're not expensive, just all people are alcoholics. Also, if you work it out, you get so drunk (which costs you a bomb) you won't pay attention to where your money is. Unless you're constantly checking (which makes you look like a tight wad) you will loose a couple of quid. Add that up over the nights you go out, you're out of a tenner a week.
Now, before you all laugh at me for being a prude. I don't mind drinking in moderation. I can also understand why it can be useful to loosen up those who are quite shy. That doesn't mean that you have to do it in excess or regularly! Also, has anyone told you that you look like a massive twat when dancing like that?
That's another point I wanted to come onto. Dancing with girls/boys. (Though this point mainly applies to males.) One of the top reasons I constantly hear as to why people go out is on the off chance they meet someone. Be realistic. Girls at clubs are either, not interested, taken or sleep around so much (their choice) that you will get an S.T.D without fail! I suppose I just want to meet a lovely girl, is that too much to ask? I don't want to have to go out five times a week, get so intoxicated that I can't speak properly and spend all my money buying some random girl a drink in the hope I get laid. Knowing me, you may not believe this, but I don't class sex as that important that I'll engage in a twisted ritual to be able to perform the act. Just save up the money you didn't spend on alcohol to buy a escort. Sure, the money's still gone but the sex will be better and your liver won't be fucked!
To summarise. Clubs and alcohol are both fine in moderation. Yet, if you want to always be drunk, go out all the time or end up so drunk you never remember the night before (or who the person in your bed is) then you need to be punched in the face for being an absolute moron. I'm not going clubbing, but I know you are, you conformist fuck so you know what you can do?
Go away.
*All five of these have happened to me at least once
Friday, 30 July 2010
On the Way to the Club
Labels:
Alcohol,
Birthday,
Blur,
Clubbing,
Conformity,
Expensive,
Facebook,
Lazy,
Looking Stupid,
Moderation,
Money,
On the Way to the Club,
Sex,
Stupidity,
Tesco's,
Training,
Work
Friday, 23 July 2010
You Only Live Once
God, they're everywhere now. Faith, Hope, Charity. It makes me sick to my stomach. Before you write me off as a cruel bastard, I'm not talking about the act of charity or having faith or hope...I'm talking about idiots who think it's a good set of names for their children. I think they must be screwing with me. Who actually came up with the idea that these were good choices? Destiny is another one. Fuck off, I thought we'd got past the age of stupid traditions and entered a world of reason and logic. Though there is that G.K Chesterton quote (which a certain someone will enjoy.) "It's the first effect of not believing in God that you lose your common sense."
I'm not saying I fundamentally agree with that idea, being an atheist myself. However, if you believe in nothing, which we've started to in today's modern world, then you start believing in anything people throw at you. Human psychology, I believe, needs some sort of belief system to cling to, it's what defines us as a person right? This is why you have Scientologists, this is why you have shows like Most Haunted springing up and that whack job Derek Acorah. These are people who know they can make money off of other people's desire to belief in some sort of an afterlife. That's why we try and believe in ghosts, so we can kid ourselves into thinking there's more after this life. Perhaps there is such a thing as ghosts, but I'm not going to believe it until it hits me directly in the face with its ghost bum. The song by the way is one by The Strokes, and don't believe in ghosts because...'You Only Live Once.'
The point I'm trying to make is that these stupid names are just one example of this new found love for believing in what is essentially bollocks. If you name your child Destiny, do you really think they'll have a big impact in the world? No of course not. Give them a normal fucking name like James or Mira and as an added bonus, they won't get bullied at school. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not THAT bothered by kids having these names. It's the parent's choice, but I do see as part of something bigger, which is this sudden acceptance of many crocks of shit.
For instance, mediums on television who claim to be able to contact others from beyond the grave. Even if we assume that there is life after death, why would some of us be granted this phenomenal power? It makes no sense. Also, for people waiting for me to finish so they can jump to the defence of such class idiots as Colin Fry, I'm aware that cold-reading is possible but that doesn't mean you're talking to the dead. Derren Brown actually performed cold-reading and did it better than a 'qualified' medium. It's not exactly a hidden talent.
If you just flick through television channels you can stumble upon this rubbish. As mentioned, there's Colin Fry's show. Derek Acorah's the biggest fake on television. The pinnacle moment of fraud for him was during his infamous Michael Jackson seance on Sky One. That was a barrel of laughs. What made me confused is that he didn't ask Michael if his doctor had killed him, as some believed. No, he asked him to say hello to the four most desperate people I've ever seen. Why the fuck would he want to say hello to them? He didn't know or love them. YEAH, dead inside am I? Well at least I don't believe that MJ is still alive in heaven. At the end, when asked "What would you say to people who are skeptical?" He replied in a masterful way "They can be." Thanks Derek, that makes me really believe that you contacted the late King of Pop and talked to him from beyond the grave. Fuck off.
If you're lazy like me and don't want to channel surf too far, just stumble onto Deal or No Deal which seems to always be on E4 all of the time, well until Friends is on. Yeah, ol' Noel Edmonds believes in that Cosmic Ordering mumbo jumbo and that's why he continuously makes out that Deal or No Deal requires some sort of thought to the game. When really, a four year old who is still incontinent could play, and probably win the 250,000.
There's an unbelievably long list of these times when people have lost their minds and just decided "I'm going to stop using reason and tell people all about my new found belief in (insert ridiculous notion here.)" I'm going to leave you with a final one, one which made my friend Sam incredibly annoyed. He's very interested in Astronomy and loves to watch and study stars and planets through his telescope. I once told someone that he liked astrology. Bad move. This is the belief that the movements of the planets some how have an effect over are lives. Personally, I don't think we're completely free (but let's not discuss that big issue now). However, I would not say that my actions are anyway determined by the alignment of Mars with some cosmo inter galactic battleship.
Before you begin to hate me for my callous handling of people's beliefs, at least let me say why I'm so frustrated at these new ideas about our world. It's because they are all moments where reason has been lost and blind faith has taken over. Organised religion like Judaism or Hinduism may not be what I want to sign up for, but they aren't hurting anyone. Mediums make money off other people's grief, Scientology was set up with the purpose of making money in mind, naming your child Charity will get her mercilessly bullied "CHARITY CASE!" and if you tell someone that because they're a Pices they will definitely find love round the corner, you will be lying. All we need to do is step back, take a long hard look at society and shoot those who the rational mind says don't deserve life. Or we could just go join a cult.
Either way, go away.
I'm not saying I fundamentally agree with that idea, being an atheist myself. However, if you believe in nothing, which we've started to in today's modern world, then you start believing in anything people throw at you. Human psychology, I believe, needs some sort of belief system to cling to, it's what defines us as a person right? This is why you have Scientologists, this is why you have shows like Most Haunted springing up and that whack job Derek Acorah. These are people who know they can make money off of other people's desire to belief in some sort of an afterlife. That's why we try and believe in ghosts, so we can kid ourselves into thinking there's more after this life. Perhaps there is such a thing as ghosts, but I'm not going to believe it until it hits me directly in the face with its ghost bum. The song by the way is one by The Strokes, and don't believe in ghosts because...'You Only Live Once.'
The point I'm trying to make is that these stupid names are just one example of this new found love for believing in what is essentially bollocks. If you name your child Destiny, do you really think they'll have a big impact in the world? No of course not. Give them a normal fucking name like James or Mira and as an added bonus, they won't get bullied at school. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not THAT bothered by kids having these names. It's the parent's choice, but I do see as part of something bigger, which is this sudden acceptance of many crocks of shit.
For instance, mediums on television who claim to be able to contact others from beyond the grave. Even if we assume that there is life after death, why would some of us be granted this phenomenal power? It makes no sense. Also, for people waiting for me to finish so they can jump to the defence of such class idiots as Colin Fry, I'm aware that cold-reading is possible but that doesn't mean you're talking to the dead. Derren Brown actually performed cold-reading and did it better than a 'qualified' medium. It's not exactly a hidden talent.
If you just flick through television channels you can stumble upon this rubbish. As mentioned, there's Colin Fry's show. Derek Acorah's the biggest fake on television. The pinnacle moment of fraud for him was during his infamous Michael Jackson seance on Sky One. That was a barrel of laughs. What made me confused is that he didn't ask Michael if his doctor had killed him, as some believed. No, he asked him to say hello to the four most desperate people I've ever seen. Why the fuck would he want to say hello to them? He didn't know or love them. YEAH, dead inside am I? Well at least I don't believe that MJ is still alive in heaven. At the end, when asked "What would you say to people who are skeptical?" He replied in a masterful way "They can be." Thanks Derek, that makes me really believe that you contacted the late King of Pop and talked to him from beyond the grave. Fuck off.
If you're lazy like me and don't want to channel surf too far, just stumble onto Deal or No Deal which seems to always be on E4 all of the time, well until Friends is on. Yeah, ol' Noel Edmonds believes in that Cosmic Ordering mumbo jumbo and that's why he continuously makes out that Deal or No Deal requires some sort of thought to the game. When really, a four year old who is still incontinent could play, and probably win the 250,000.
There's an unbelievably long list of these times when people have lost their minds and just decided "I'm going to stop using reason and tell people all about my new found belief in (insert ridiculous notion here.)" I'm going to leave you with a final one, one which made my friend Sam incredibly annoyed. He's very interested in Astronomy and loves to watch and study stars and planets through his telescope. I once told someone that he liked astrology. Bad move. This is the belief that the movements of the planets some how have an effect over are lives. Personally, I don't think we're completely free (but let's not discuss that big issue now). However, I would not say that my actions are anyway determined by the alignment of Mars with some cosmo inter galactic battleship.
Before you begin to hate me for my callous handling of people's beliefs, at least let me say why I'm so frustrated at these new ideas about our world. It's because they are all moments where reason has been lost and blind faith has taken over. Organised religion like Judaism or Hinduism may not be what I want to sign up for, but they aren't hurting anyone. Mediums make money off other people's grief, Scientology was set up with the purpose of making money in mind, naming your child Charity will get her mercilessly bullied "CHARITY CASE!" and if you tell someone that because they're a Pices they will definitely find love round the corner, you will be lying. All we need to do is step back, take a long hard look at society and shoot those who the rational mind says don't deserve life. Or we could just go join a cult.
Either way, go away.
Labels:
Belief,
Cold-Reading,
Deal or No Deal,
G.K. Chesterton,
Ghosts,
Mediums,
Scams,
Scientology,
Seance,
Skepticism,
Stupid Names,
The Strokes
Friday, 16 July 2010
Fuck Tha Police
I am angry and pissed off so shut your bloody pie hole and listen up! Today I'm going to talk about safety procedures and various other warnings that make me think "God, are we that stupid as a nation?" A small example of this is, the other day I bought a milkshake and it genuinely read on the bottle "Open by hand" Thanks for that advice. I was planning to open it with my head. Just smack down my massive forehead on the bottle and hope for the best!
Seriously Britain, sort it out. Why are we so obsessed with health and safety? If you're that much of an idiot and don't have what we tend to call 'common sense', then you deserve to be hurt. We have everything from signs on doors telling you to watch your step, in front of steps, or a label on a snickers 'May contain nuts.' Don't patronise us, let us figure it out using what's left of our slowly decaying brains.
I'm aware that some labels or signs are perfectly useful but some are just bloody unnecessary. When you get on a train, they tell you to mind the gap. Use your eyes. When you go to the supermarket and go in the restaurant bit and it says "surface is hot." Well of course it is, they're keeping the food hot? It's insulting, that's what it is.
I mean, what is the obsession with safety and health anyway? If a couple of people fall down a hole because there wasn't a sign that said 'Watch out for the hole' it's their fault! It gets rid of some of the stupid people and cuts down on our overpopulated nation! Double bonus. Cheers all round. Excessive safety isn't my only problem, I also have an issue with our obsession with health. That's why I chose the song 'Fuck Tha Police' by N.W.A, fuck tha HEALTH police. If your kid is a little tubby, big deal! Jamie Oliver can shut up. He appears to be doing good when really he's ruining children's lives. That's what being a child is all about! You can eat all the jammy dodgems, stuff them in your gob, salivating everywhere and not have to worry one little bit. Yet they seem surprised when the children's parents started handing burgers through the school gates? It's called a free country...so let them be free. If they want to eat ten carrots, they can! If they want to eat ten doughnuts, they can! If they want to fuck a donkey, the- *cough* sorry, got carried away there.
Part of this health obsession is disguised as a way of keeping the country going. Wrong. In the words of Steve Hughes (an Australian stand up comedian) "It's a form of control." Maybe that sounds like paranoia, but I agree with him. It's a way of making us look good as a nation. Look how much our kids exercise! Look how gorgeous and THIN they are. That's my biggest problem with it. What's wrong with being fat? If you're happy, you can be whatever size and shape you want.
Body image has been a constant insecurity and it needs to stop. You need to love your body and be happy with how you are. I began this blog complaining about health and safety regulations, but it's all part of it. As a government, don't talk down to us. Don't tell us every fucking time we go anywhere "Watch out for this!" "Open that this way." Let us use common sense and get on with our lives without you blinding us with bright yellow regulations every ten minutes. Then, as we're now safe, stop telling us what to eat and when, if I want to eat until I throw up all over the sign that says "Surface is hot" then let me dammit!
If you haven't thrown up and all that food has gone to your gut, don't feel bad, don't be upset. Be happy with how you are. If you're upset with your body then change it yourself. But don't actively follow Jamie Oliver's School Dinners guide. Kids love crap, that's why they're so stupid. They buy into anything that is rubbish. Kids would eat gravel if you painted it like Spongebob's face. (The coolest cartoon character ever, fact.) O, and by the way, don't try and twist that and say "If they didn't eat crap, they wouldn't be stupid" because they still would! They love lollipops and cream covered cakes. They don't want broccoli. So why bother preaching to the wrong crowd? It's too much effort and money. Pay Jamie Oliver to do condom adverts, which we definitely need more of. OR, better still. Get Jamie Oliver to do an all you can eat contest every day of the week and then when he's fat show how happy he is, gurgling and wiggling in his armchair.
The point I'm trying to make is that we do not need safety signs or little helpful messages telling us how to perform basic actions. I know most of us are thick, me included, but we're not complete morons. Second, stop worrying about how much kids eat. Worst case scenario, we all get so fat that we die of heart attacks at 22 and the the population of England drops to 10 million. If not, the kids are happy, Jamie Oliver's not on the telly which is great, and people are just happy with how they are. What more can you ask for? The idiots gone, everybody happy and television programmes improved significantly. I think I've made my point.
Now go away.
Seriously Britain, sort it out. Why are we so obsessed with health and safety? If you're that much of an idiot and don't have what we tend to call 'common sense', then you deserve to be hurt. We have everything from signs on doors telling you to watch your step, in front of steps, or a label on a snickers 'May contain nuts.' Don't patronise us, let us figure it out using what's left of our slowly decaying brains.
I'm aware that some labels or signs are perfectly useful but some are just bloody unnecessary. When you get on a train, they tell you to mind the gap. Use your eyes. When you go to the supermarket and go in the restaurant bit and it says "surface is hot." Well of course it is, they're keeping the food hot? It's insulting, that's what it is.
I mean, what is the obsession with safety and health anyway? If a couple of people fall down a hole because there wasn't a sign that said 'Watch out for the hole' it's their fault! It gets rid of some of the stupid people and cuts down on our overpopulated nation! Double bonus. Cheers all round. Excessive safety isn't my only problem, I also have an issue with our obsession with health. That's why I chose the song 'Fuck Tha Police' by N.W.A, fuck tha HEALTH police. If your kid is a little tubby, big deal! Jamie Oliver can shut up. He appears to be doing good when really he's ruining children's lives. That's what being a child is all about! You can eat all the jammy dodgems, stuff them in your gob, salivating everywhere and not have to worry one little bit. Yet they seem surprised when the children's parents started handing burgers through the school gates? It's called a free country...so let them be free. If they want to eat ten carrots, they can! If they want to eat ten doughnuts, they can! If they want to fuck a donkey, the- *cough* sorry, got carried away there.
Part of this health obsession is disguised as a way of keeping the country going. Wrong. In the words of Steve Hughes (an Australian stand up comedian) "It's a form of control." Maybe that sounds like paranoia, but I agree with him. It's a way of making us look good as a nation. Look how much our kids exercise! Look how gorgeous and THIN they are. That's my biggest problem with it. What's wrong with being fat? If you're happy, you can be whatever size and shape you want.
Body image has been a constant insecurity and it needs to stop. You need to love your body and be happy with how you are. I began this blog complaining about health and safety regulations, but it's all part of it. As a government, don't talk down to us. Don't tell us every fucking time we go anywhere "Watch out for this!" "Open that this way." Let us use common sense and get on with our lives without you blinding us with bright yellow regulations every ten minutes. Then, as we're now safe, stop telling us what to eat and when, if I want to eat until I throw up all over the sign that says "Surface is hot" then let me dammit!
If you haven't thrown up and all that food has gone to your gut, don't feel bad, don't be upset. Be happy with how you are. If you're upset with your body then change it yourself. But don't actively follow Jamie Oliver's School Dinners guide. Kids love crap, that's why they're so stupid. They buy into anything that is rubbish. Kids would eat gravel if you painted it like Spongebob's face. (The coolest cartoon character ever, fact.) O, and by the way, don't try and twist that and say "If they didn't eat crap, they wouldn't be stupid" because they still would! They love lollipops and cream covered cakes. They don't want broccoli. So why bother preaching to the wrong crowd? It's too much effort and money. Pay Jamie Oliver to do condom adverts, which we definitely need more of. OR, better still. Get Jamie Oliver to do an all you can eat contest every day of the week and then when he's fat show how happy he is, gurgling and wiggling in his armchair.
The point I'm trying to make is that we do not need safety signs or little helpful messages telling us how to perform basic actions. I know most of us are thick, me included, but we're not complete morons. Second, stop worrying about how much kids eat. Worst case scenario, we all get so fat that we die of heart attacks at 22 and the the population of England drops to 10 million. If not, the kids are happy, Jamie Oliver's not on the telly which is great, and people are just happy with how they are. What more can you ask for? The idiots gone, everybody happy and television programmes improved significantly. I think I've made my point.
Now go away.
Friday, 9 July 2010
It's a Sin to Kill a Mockingbird
As a fore-warning, this blog is going to be about the book To Kill a Mockingbird and the film adaptation starring Gregory Peck. Unlike my blog on the novel Carrie, there will be a number of unavoidable spoilers as I attempt to get across what made this book and its film so brilliant. Therefore, if you haven't read the book or seen the film then please refrain from reading this blog, as I'd hate to ruin it for you.
Now that's got the uncultured lot out of the way, we can begin. ;) I'll begin with my own opinion and commentary on the book itself as that was what I experienced first.
The Book
I want to begin by stating how truly brilliant this book was. Normally, when I am told that something is a must-see, or must-read, I approach it with a sense of scepticism. After all, the average person is an idiot and cannot be trusted. To quote Peep Show quickly "People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis. You can't trust people, Jeremy." As I mentioned in my technophobia blog, people like shit like Avatar. However, I will admit that To Kill a Mockingbird fully deserves the praise it gets.
The books biggest strength is that it doesn't have one key story. It is a winding tale about the life of Scout, the young girl who narrates. Although the trial of Tom Robinson is often cited as the most memorable, each event that happens rely on each other to make the story whole. It is told with an innocence that one does not forget. The book tells her life over three years and captures many heart warming moments, funny moments and moments of great sadness. Along with her brother Jem, Scout learns many of life's lessons and learns to appreciate things which she had been shameful of before. The greatest thing she learns to love is her father, Atticus Finch, who is the epitome of a good man.
The funniest moments for me are the attempts by the children to get Boo Radley to come out of his house. Boo Radley is a legend among the children and you can just envision yourself as a child being fascinated by the tales. Although their father insists they leave the Radley's alone, Scout, Jem and Dill (Scout and Jem's best friend, modeled on the author's own best friend) continue to try and get Boo to come out. The fear they feel mixed with the thrill of adventure is so easy to relate to. Boo is actually a hero for the children by the end of the novel when he saves their lives.
Although Harper Lee, the author, was attempting to show the harshness of 1930s racism, the book does not try to be too complex or powerful with its message. It just shows that although Tom Robinson is clearly innocent of the crime he is accused of, and the town folk know this, the jury still sentence him and all state that he is guilty. One article that I read recently, criticised the novel, claiming it stated the obvious. However, I do not think it does. I think it did what it set out to do in a charming way. The key moment from the trial for me is Jem's delight when he's assured they will win and then the sudden anger at the injustice from the jury. The quote that moved me the most was in the aftermath of the trial. Jem asks Atticus how the jury could do such a thing. Atticus responds "I don't know, but they did it. They've done it before and they did it tonight and they'll do it again and when they do it-seems that only children weep." This shows the marvel of the book. Harper Lee captures an innocent perspective from those who cannot understand why there is evil and unfairness in the world.
Atticus defends a negro man, despite all the odds against him. As he says himself, "They're certainly entitled to think that, and they're entitled to full respect for their opinions," said Atticus, "but before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience."Atticus knows that if he did not defend Tom Robinson, he would not be able to live with himself. The message that I took from the book is that sometimes in life, there are those who will push for something to be done which they do not want to do themselves, but they will offer no support. Atticus was asked to defend Tom Robinson, because nobody else wanted to. People are always willing to say what is right, but doing what is right is something completely different.
I do not want to dwell too much on the racism. I feel it is clear that Harper Lee (a White woman) managed to question why racism ever existed and showed that, in a court room at least, all men are equal. Two trials you should look into if you want to get angered about racial injustice, the Scottsboro boys and the trial of Emmet Till. All you must know is that Scout and Jem and Dill's story is a memorable one. Scout and Jem learn a lot, especially that their Father doesn't do some things in life, not because he can't, but because he chooses not to. The clearest example of this is the moment with the rabid dog. Jem and Scout find out that in fact, Atticus could shoot, and in fact is the greatest shot in the town, he just chooses not to.
The book is better than the film in a lot of ways, as it manages to go into the detail that the film could not, especially regarding characterisation and the lessons the children learn. However, this is not a criticism of the film as it just cannot be the detailed tale the book is.
The Film
The film focused on the trial itself. It is understandable as this is the main point of the book. Although, as I said, the book intertwines all the events without any being singularly more significant than any other. The film adds in certain scenes to help the viewer understand the characters. It is a classic film, I found it more humourous than the book and that was only because of the delivery of lines. A scene that was laugh out loud funny was the young Scout walking home in her costume from the school pageant. She's dressed as a ham and it is so funny to see her waddling along.
The acting was superb and each character was perfectly cast, especially Gregory Peck as Atticus and Mary Badham as the young Scout. The soundtrack accompanied the moments brilliantly and this was especially effective in the courthouse scene.
It is a truly emotional moment when, after the jury have announced a unanimous verdict of 'guilty', Atticus slowly packs up his case and walks out of the court room alone with all of the black men and women looking down on them. The music emphasises this feeling of failure and that he believed he could win this case and prove that sometimes men will not be so discriminatory.
Another scene which stood out was the first time we meet Boo Radley. It was Robert Duvall's first role and one he fitted into brilliantly. The innocence and slight fear shown by Radley moves you, but the obvious affection he feels for the two children, is enough to make anyone cry.
The final scene in both the book and the film are the best endings. It is believed by Atticus that Jem killed Bob Ewell when he attacked them. Once again, Atticus shows he must do what is right even if it hurts him to do so. Jem is innocent though and the sherrif shows Atticus that it would be a sin to make Bob Ewell's death come to trial. As Scout walks Boo Radley home, one of the other famous quotes is used once again. "You never fully understand a man until you walk around in his shoes." She sees the street from Boo Radley's perspective and can understand why he didn't want to come out and why Jem and her were so important to him.
I haven't really managed to do this blog in a way that the film and book deserve. If I was a genius (o wait, I am) or a book or film scholar I could give you a greater insight into why this story deserves the praise and attention it received. However, I hope this has been good enough from the perspective of one person who truly loved every second of both mediums telling Harper Lee's timeless tale. The title of this blog was pretty hard too, so I just went with another quote from the book, so what if it's not a song, sue me. Mockingbirds sing, that's your damn song. If you haven't read either the book or seen the film...
Now go away and do it.
Labels:
Boo Radley,
Equality,
Harper Lee,
Injustice,
Innocence,
Peep Show,
Scout,
Sin,
To Kill a Mockingbird,
Tom Robinson,
Trial
Friday, 2 July 2010
Perhaps Vampires is a bit strong but...
Apologies all if this seems a little rushed. Today is a very busy day! I have to get to town to check out some music I might buy, get school to sign out (i.e. give in all the books I have borrowed for my subjects), change into decent clothes and then get back for the barbecue and bouncy castle on our last ever day at The Highfield School. I'm afraid this isn't another of those 'it was great knowing you, good luck in life' as I've done one of those, and you should be bloody grateful you got one at all, being the miserable, cynical shit bag I am.
It isn't about the World Cup either as all my favourite teams got knocked out (apart from the Netherlands) and as England are now out...which despite the goal which never was, we deserved, (although if that goal had counted, we may have played better defensively) there doesn't seem much point in following it so whole-heartedly now. Especially since South Korea got knocked out to...I am sorry Park Ji Sung.
Before I begin what I'm going to complain about, that being this new obsession people have with Vampires, I wanted to direct your attention to a new blog I started up. I doubt you'll remember, but awhile ago I said I wanted to write down for each day about my time in America, using a journal as a guide which I wrote in every day. The blog began on the 27th of June (my first day in America) and the site is http://wallijunclesam.wordpress.com/ for any of you remotely interested.
Let us begin! Vampires used to be cool. Like, I loved Dracula when I was about 13, and purchased the book for only a pound when I was in Whitby. For those who are uniformed, Whitby is the setting Bram Stoker used as the place Dracula landed when sailing over from Transylvania. Vampires have been up there with zombies and ghosts in horror fiction and are a fantastic creation. Yet recently, they have slowly been ruined. The main cause of this is the series Twilight by Stephanie Myers. Now, don't think I'm complaining because of Robert Pattison or that I'm jealous of Taylor Lauftner's abs...I'm complaining because they've ruined the entire concept of the Vampire. Vampires are bastards. They will come into your room at night, and bite at your neck until you bleed. "Ooh, Edward Cullen is so romantic, just read the scene on page 128*" I read it, it was a fucking dinner scene. He took her out to dinner? Wow, I consider that sweet but it's not that impressive.
If you've read the original Dracula, you'd know what vampires are really about. Bram Stoker's Dracula is a mystifying creature. He is extremely old when Jonathan Harker first meets him, yet is very youthful when he arrives in England. He is a man, or creature, who can enchant women...which Myer's tries to adopt. Where Dracula enchants Lucy and sucks her blood, Edward Cullen enchants Bella and then...buys her dinner. DOES NOBODY SEE THE PROBLEM HERE? I mean seriously, are you fucking kidding me? Also, the author lamely attempts to deal with this obvious flaw by showing that Edward is a vegetarian, like his family. As far as I'm aware, they drink animal blood still, and I'm pretty sure that's the exact OPPOSITE of being vegetarian. Also, drinking human blood is in their nature...it is a predicate. (A word I picked up in Philosophy.) It would be like having a zombie film where instead of them eating your brains, they give you an Xbox and then ask you to play a few rounds of Modern Warfare 2.
Right, that's all I need to saw about Twishite. The problem is...from this sudden upheaval of vampire love, loads of things have suddenly been written because vampires are what's cool now. I haven't seen True Blood but I'm pretty sure it's not very good. The only thing they probably did right was make vampires bastards again. But, it's too late. The concept has been ruined and I can no longer love vampires. Luckily, zombies will always kick-ass and you should definitely check out both The Zombie Survival Guide and the film Zombieland. If you needed further proof of this growing obsession with vampires...here's a film that's coming soon...
Daybreakers
Now, don't get me wrong, this seems like an okay film with a fairly decent cast. It won't be amazing but it looks cool. But all the time I was watching I kept thinking "This has only been done to try and make vampires cool again..." Too late, I kept expecting them to suddenly say "O and by the way, what time shall I pick you up for the Prom, I'll make sure to glitter extra for you!" The glitter thing is another thing that has ruined the original concept. Sunlight was the way the humans won. Humans would draw them out in the day then throw holy water on them and stab the shit out of them with crucifixes. According to Myer, Vampires just get shiny and beautiful in the sunlight. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
Perhaps people think I'm being unfair. She's taken a concept and reworked it for her own needs right? Well I disagree. If you take a fictional creature, you cannot, EVER, change the fundamentals of what makes it so. Vampires suck blood, zombies eat brains, ghosts...kind of just throw shit around to scare you (well that's more poltergeists.) The point is, a fictional thing is created with fundamental characteristics and changing them completely changes what the thing is. Put it this way, imagine you have a friend with a long nose, short hair and who is tall. Take all of those things away and replace them with anything. Try a much shorter nose, no hair and make them a midget. Now, is it the same person? No. Perhaps you can argue that their personality is the same...blah blah. Okay. The point is to take away all that Stephanie Myers has with vampires means that Twilight is not a series about vampires but a series about whatever the hell you want to call them. Beautiful, loving vegetarian guys. And that's why I felt the need to use an Arctic Monkeys song. There not an amazing band, but they're okay and the title is perfect. Vampires is a bit strong for what Myers has created. They're nothing like vampires, they're just creatures who might suck blood sometimes, just not humans and also they're suddenly compassionate.
The last thing I need to criticise is that since vampires are viewed as cool cats who love to buy you dinner instead of making you their dinner, young girls have fallen in love with them. I'm genuinely worried that some of these pre-pubescent innocent girls are starting to believe that one day they'll find their own Edward Cullen...vampire and all. In the words of Helen Lovejoy from The Simpsons "What about the children?! Won't somebody please think of the children!?" If you've stumbled on this blog and you're already crying through tears as I cut down your dreams, get ready for one last blow. Vampires are not real and if they were, they wouldn't buy you a lovely dinner or save you from bad vampires, they'd kill you and then make you like them. Get over it kid, at least Santa's real, be happy with that.
Now go away.
*Not actual page number
It isn't about the World Cup either as all my favourite teams got knocked out (apart from the Netherlands) and as England are now out...which despite the goal which never was, we deserved, (although if that goal had counted, we may have played better defensively) there doesn't seem much point in following it so whole-heartedly now. Especially since South Korea got knocked out to...I am sorry Park Ji Sung.
Before I begin what I'm going to complain about, that being this new obsession people have with Vampires, I wanted to direct your attention to a new blog I started up. I doubt you'll remember, but awhile ago I said I wanted to write down for each day about my time in America, using a journal as a guide which I wrote in every day. The blog began on the 27th of June (my first day in America) and the site is http://wallijunclesam.wordpress.com/ for any of you remotely interested.
Let us begin! Vampires used to be cool. Like, I loved Dracula when I was about 13, and purchased the book for only a pound when I was in Whitby. For those who are uniformed, Whitby is the setting Bram Stoker used as the place Dracula landed when sailing over from Transylvania. Vampires have been up there with zombies and ghosts in horror fiction and are a fantastic creation. Yet recently, they have slowly been ruined. The main cause of this is the series Twilight by Stephanie Myers. Now, don't think I'm complaining because of Robert Pattison or that I'm jealous of Taylor Lauftner's abs...I'm complaining because they've ruined the entire concept of the Vampire. Vampires are bastards. They will come into your room at night, and bite at your neck until you bleed. "Ooh, Edward Cullen is so romantic, just read the scene on page 128*" I read it, it was a fucking dinner scene. He took her out to dinner? Wow, I consider that sweet but it's not that impressive.
If you've read the original Dracula, you'd know what vampires are really about. Bram Stoker's Dracula is a mystifying creature. He is extremely old when Jonathan Harker first meets him, yet is very youthful when he arrives in England. He is a man, or creature, who can enchant women...which Myer's tries to adopt. Where Dracula enchants Lucy and sucks her blood, Edward Cullen enchants Bella and then...buys her dinner. DOES NOBODY SEE THE PROBLEM HERE? I mean seriously, are you fucking kidding me? Also, the author lamely attempts to deal with this obvious flaw by showing that Edward is a vegetarian, like his family. As far as I'm aware, they drink animal blood still, and I'm pretty sure that's the exact OPPOSITE of being vegetarian. Also, drinking human blood is in their nature...it is a predicate. (A word I picked up in Philosophy.) It would be like having a zombie film where instead of them eating your brains, they give you an Xbox and then ask you to play a few rounds of Modern Warfare 2.
Right, that's all I need to saw about Twishite. The problem is...from this sudden upheaval of vampire love, loads of things have suddenly been written because vampires are what's cool now. I haven't seen True Blood but I'm pretty sure it's not very good. The only thing they probably did right was make vampires bastards again. But, it's too late. The concept has been ruined and I can no longer love vampires. Luckily, zombies will always kick-ass and you should definitely check out both The Zombie Survival Guide and the film Zombieland. If you needed further proof of this growing obsession with vampires...here's a film that's coming soon...
Daybreakers
Now, don't get me wrong, this seems like an okay film with a fairly decent cast. It won't be amazing but it looks cool. But all the time I was watching I kept thinking "This has only been done to try and make vampires cool again..." Too late, I kept expecting them to suddenly say "O and by the way, what time shall I pick you up for the Prom, I'll make sure to glitter extra for you!" The glitter thing is another thing that has ruined the original concept. Sunlight was the way the humans won. Humans would draw them out in the day then throw holy water on them and stab the shit out of them with crucifixes. According to Myer, Vampires just get shiny and beautiful in the sunlight. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
Perhaps people think I'm being unfair. She's taken a concept and reworked it for her own needs right? Well I disagree. If you take a fictional creature, you cannot, EVER, change the fundamentals of what makes it so. Vampires suck blood, zombies eat brains, ghosts...kind of just throw shit around to scare you (well that's more poltergeists.) The point is, a fictional thing is created with fundamental characteristics and changing them completely changes what the thing is. Put it this way, imagine you have a friend with a long nose, short hair and who is tall. Take all of those things away and replace them with anything. Try a much shorter nose, no hair and make them a midget. Now, is it the same person? No. Perhaps you can argue that their personality is the same...blah blah. Okay. The point is to take away all that Stephanie Myers has with vampires means that Twilight is not a series about vampires but a series about whatever the hell you want to call them. Beautiful, loving vegetarian guys. And that's why I felt the need to use an Arctic Monkeys song. There not an amazing band, but they're okay and the title is perfect. Vampires is a bit strong for what Myers has created. They're nothing like vampires, they're just creatures who might suck blood sometimes, just not humans and also they're suddenly compassionate.
The last thing I need to criticise is that since vampires are viewed as cool cats who love to buy you dinner instead of making you their dinner, young girls have fallen in love with them. I'm genuinely worried that some of these pre-pubescent innocent girls are starting to believe that one day they'll find their own Edward Cullen...vampire and all. In the words of Helen Lovejoy from The Simpsons "What about the children?! Won't somebody please think of the children!?" If you've stumbled on this blog and you're already crying through tears as I cut down your dreams, get ready for one last blow. Vampires are not real and if they were, they wouldn't buy you a lovely dinner or save you from bad vampires, they'd kill you and then make you like them. Get over it kid, at least Santa's real, be happy with that.
Now go away.
*Not actual page number
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