Meat is Murder

Put that down! Yes I'm talking to you fatty, don't you dare take another bite of that poor animal! Now, this blog is a little different. If you haven't guessed what I'm going to discuss with myself is the evils of meat-eating! (It's a discussion with myself as you can't share your opinion, because firstly, it's a blog not a conversation and second, I don't care what you think.) Now, before you laugh at the blatant hypocrisy, I will point out this is why the blog is a little different. For once, despite my usual surly, opinionated nature, I am going to offer a perspective, one which I don't agree with, but we must be more open-minded! I wanted to put this point of view forward because someone I care very much about is vegetarian. Plus, it was piss easy to pick a song title. Morrissey being the angry advocate of not eating meat wrote a whole song about it when he in The Smiths! 


I don't know about you, but I've never really considered being a vegetarian. I really do quite love bacon sandwiches and a full English breakfast is cracking. I've also thought "If I don't eat meat, the animals will still die, so why bother?" But that's not the point is it. An odd analogy but it's like the Liberal Democrats. "I don't vote for them, because they'll never get in" If everyone who said that voted Lib Dem, they'd have a damn good chance, just like if everyone ate their carrots and not the poor little piggy, they'd be less demand and more animals would be saved...yay! :D 


That moves me onto the next point. We'll eat the meat, but when you think about what it is, do we not feel cruel? I'm sure many of you have been to a farm. Aww, look at the cute little piggy (See 'Babe' the film)! Would you kill it while it looks up at you? Goodness no...you're not a sadist! Yet, you're happy to let someone else kill it and serve it to you...god we're bastards aren't we? How did they serve it to you? They cooked it. People say it's natural to eat animals, life cycle, chain etc. Wrong. If we didn't cook the meat or add spices and tenderise it, what would happen? We'd die. Lions, tigers and other carnivores can just hunt and eat. They can't turn around and say "Ooo, I fancy letting that animal live." We can. 


In fairness, a lot of farmer's money is made from killing and selling of meat...so we'd be putting them out of business if we all only ate vegetables. My counterargument to this point would be that it's arrogant to make money off of other animals suffering. We banned slavery for being immoral, how is killing an innocent animal and then selling it for profit any less immoral? 


I'm not going to press this issue to hard. I'm just making people aware at how flawed the meat-eater's argument is. As I eat meat myself, my only sham defence is "I love the taste." But as we've covered, it only is like that because we cook it properly. Raw bacon sandwiches would be disgusting and unhealthy. I admire Vegetarians. They take the stand against a society that mocks them, and however you look at it, they always have the moral high ground. The only way we can take a slightly moral road is by ensuring we buy free-range and organic eggs and food, so the chickens aren't polluted with chemicals and they can have a free, happy life before the sad fate that awaits them... 


Talking of being moral, pet-owners who eat meat are the worse! (Me.) Would I eat my cats or guinea pigs? Nope, it's not culturally acceptable. Yet, if I was in Korea or South America, it would be expected. Am I more moral because I choose not to eat domesticated pets? No, people think they are but really they're just discriminating. You should either eat all animals or none! I'm kidding. Just realise that argument doesn't make you a better person, it's only because your English that eating a pig is okay. Some countries would shoot you for that insolence! 


I mentioned free-range eggs and although vegetarians don't have a problem eating them, vegans do. This is a group that can definitely fuck off. I'm not even going to offer their point of view, it's far too extreme. You can live perfectly healthily as a vegetarian, but being a vegan is moronic. They don't eat anything other than nuts and some nice lentil curry. The human body needs protein, and nutrition and calcium which vegetarians can easily get. Vegans find it hard to fulfil the bodies needs. There's being ethical, but you have to draw the line if it's killing you and I don't think that's too unfair. Big deal if cheese was made at the expense of animals, I need my damn calcium! 


Essentially, meat eaters can't win. We are bad people and animals are lovely. The only possible thing I can argue is that if we didn't eat these animals, they'd overpopulate, but I can't guarantee that. Anyway, what would you rather have? More animals who make funny noises and sniffle at you in an adorable way? Or less but the odd pang of a guilt trip when you think what you've just eaten had a life! If you want to get philosophical about it, animals aren't beings who think and have emotions like humans do, but they do feel pain and they do mate which suggests we should allow them to live their life and not slaughter them mercilessly for our own greedy, fatty stomachs. Being the evil man I am, I'm about to have dinner of bacon and sausages. Hey, don't look at me like that! I said it wasn't my view! But do consider the vegetarian argument and the next time someone says they are one, don't scoff at them and look at them in a patronising manner, I know you do! Just, think about those poor animals and how cute that pig would look as a pet instead of a meal. 


Now go away.