Peaches

I've just got back from my holiday and I thought as a special treat for you, I'd do a blog about the British keen attitude towards beaches. It is something which I share, yet still confuses me in equal measure. My holiday was great by the way, thanks for asking you pricks. ;)  I even managed to keep my American blog up to date (http://wallijunclesam.wordpress.com/). I was going to use the song 'Seaside' by the Kooks but the lyrics are crap, the tune is bollocks and I don't like them as a band in general. The lead singer (could google his name, but that'd take time) sings like a disabled child. A little harsh? I don't think so. Instead, I'm using 'Peaches' by The Stranglers which is about going to the beach and checking out women. 


The beach is a lovely place to go, families, couples, grandparents and grand kids...it suits all! It's like a magic glove. Yet, you have to admit...it's odd why we love them so. Most beaches aren't exactly full sand, clear and sparkling. So why is it that we can't wait to go down and lay in the sun? Instead of smooth sands, we get pepples. The ocean has seaweed and is either rough or terribly cold. Yet this is what we want. We don't want perfection, we want our holidays to be like this...so we can shiver and then get all sandy, get home and say "Shall we go again next year?" 


Now, I realise more people are going to bloody Spain and Portugal and not sticking to classic Devon or Cornwall...but people still want the British beach. It's not just the beach either, it's all the add-ons. Have you been to a good pier recently? There's also the amusement parks on the sea front and the arcades. Everything is overpriced, terrible value, yet we still go and waste our money. We are a strange nation! Even I can't resist putting a 50p piece in, getting that equivalent in 2p and spending on the little machines where you try and push the 2p forward to drop and thus earn more. I once managed to have 17 drop...I felt so rich. It's 34p?! What are you genuinely going to do with 34p? Buy 34 1p sweets I suppose. 


The only real reason you might want to go the beach is for the fish and chips, which is at least ten times better by the coast. I had some famous one in Adleburgh ;) and it is much better. However, we really love the other parts of a traditional day trip/holiday to the beach despite how gaudy and awful they obviously are. I mean, does anyone actually enjoy crazy golf? Of course not, it's all part of the culture and I've come up with a theory. Yes another one that may blow your mind. 


I came up with this idea after reading one Calvin and Hobbe's strip. Calvin asks his dad why they never go on cruises and go camping in the rain. Calvin's dad grins and replies "We go on awful breaks so that the rest of the year seems like a vacation." Is that it England? Do we subject ourselves to stony beaches, rough seas, overpriced and rubbish tat so that our normal lives seem great in comparison? Personally, I really hope not. I want us to have this connection because the enjoyment I talk of is real...because I still do enjoy them (though it is nice to get home!) 


This is a late blog (and short), apologies, I'm just going to get it posted in time. Internet has been terrible all day and I wasn't entirely happy with my original concept. I hope you didn't miss me too much and that you, like me, can honestly say you love the beaches (and the peaches) and aren't just doing it so that shit pit you call home seems marginally okay. 


Now go away.