Mr. Robinson's Quango

Hello voters of the next generation. For the first time, my head is too full of ideas of what to write about...I originally had planned to help out the Liberal Democrats campaign in our school's mock election, and to do this, I'd write a lovely blog on why you should vote for them (symbolically) next Thursday. It would also hopefully boost real support for the Lib Dems for those who CAN vote. But then I went and watched the leadership debate last night...what a silly man I am! This is exactly why ignorance is bliss. If I had ignored the debates, I wouldn't have a problem. But I did, and David Cameron aggravated me to no end. Impressive really, as I only watched the last half an hour. Essentially, I won't go into details here...wait for part two! Basically, it got me really frustrated about education, especially concerning teacher's pay. So I felt the burning desire to talk about this and what I would do if I was leader. I like to pretend sometimes that I'll be in power one day, because it makes me think people would love me, when really I'd probably be shot for my fascist ideas (ironic isn't it?) Also, I always have amusing, yet impractical solutions at the ready to share with you. I was fine with doing a bumper blog, one about the Liberal Democrats, mainly in concern to the mock election and the secondary being about education. 


All was well, until I came home and saw what my sisters were watching... It was called, I believe, MTV Teen Cribs? It was the biggest showing of self-appreciation that I had ever seen! It was disgusting. It made me feel physically ill. However, before I start this tirade, I'll just say this, I'll rant about it next week people, don't you worry! So, I suppose now we've got that information out the way concerning the inner workings of my fantastic mind, we can begin...


Ok, so today was the 'debates' for the mock election. For anyone who wasn't there...where the fuck were you?! You shouldn't be allowed to vote you scoundrel! Just kidding folks. In all honesty, it was brilliant. A big congratulations to ALL who spoke (even if I didn't agree with them.) A worthy mention espcially to Miss. Pedrick who genuinally made me believe the Lib Dems were magical and good. I would also like to congratulate the KS3 Conservative Candidate. I hope this doesn't sound patronising, but he made a speech, and the poor kid has a speech impediment. He  did great though, and if any of you giggled at any of his speech...I will find you, and I will kill you. I only wish there had been more time to give a question about teacher's pay...that's right you Conservative wankers...I know your plans. 


I have to complain here quickly about the support Russell Howard party people...firstly, it was pretty obvious only the three major parties would speak, after all, this was inspired by the debates on television. I could almost understand it if you were representing a minor party, after all U.K.I.P and The Green Party complained about not being included in the real debates. 


Yet, Russell Howard isn't a party...he's not running, he's just a bit of a buffoon. I don't even think he's that funny. My mate Elliot pointed out how bad his comic timing is, a couple of months ago, and now it's all I notice. He's sort of funny on occasion, but mostly I wish he'd quieten down. Of course, now I've said that, all of those who supported him today will not be voting Lib Dem next week, well done me. But I don't really care, this is my blog, if you don't like my opinion, fuck off yeah? (Please don't go, nobody reads this anyway!) 


In all honesty, both in the debate today and the actual ones that have been televised, it's not a good argument by the minor party. I think people have to face the harsh reality that until the system is reformed (which I don't think it needs to be) minor parties will never have a real say. I can't really be bothered to blather on about Proportional Representation though, so let's move on shall we. Final congratulations, good luck all... Well, not really, if you don't vote Lib Dem I will blind you with forks made of gold (if the Conservatives win) or make you eat coal (in the event Labour win.) I hope you see what I did there, if not, do some bloody research. 


I want to start off by basically insulting the posters that have been put up around school. They are SO awful (not ours obviously, ours are genius...especially the Margaret Thatcher one about stealing milk) that I could wipe my bum on a piece of paper and scrawl VOTE LIB DEM YEAH? and it would be of a better quality. I realise how disgusting that imagery is so I apologise....NAHT (The Borat reference there should win over at least half the student body.) Seriously folks, one of the posters is about the Lib Dems plans to not renew Trident, for those out there who are unaware, this is our nuclear missile defence system. The poster is a picture of Saddam Hussein and how our security is now threatened boo hoo. SHUT UP YOU IDIOTS. Firstly, if we disarm, we're not at threat...N.A.T.O have got our backs covered in case of nuclear war. Secondly, Saddam's dead dumb dumb. You could have used Kim Jong Ill, would have been especially effective to use his Team America copy...maybe like a slogan "I'm so Ronery without our Nuclear Defence system." I CAME UP WITH THAT JUST NOW. Who the hell have you got running your poster campaign labour? A monkey with one eye?! (GORDON BROWN REFERENCE!) I am on fire today. 


The point is, once you've stopped chortling at all those witticisms, Trident costs a shit load to renew (to put it bluntly, about 12 billion pounds?) and is not worth it. Honestly, if we ever get attacked by nukes, what is the point of attacking back? How selfish would that be? JUST let us die and let the world carry on...don't blow up most of it to retaliate! As Ghandi said, "an eye for an eye, makes the whole world blind." In this case, it makes it cough up its lungs during the nuclear fallout. 

ALSO, as a way of saving money, the Liberal Democrats are getting rid of Quangos. For those uninformed, a Quango is a department set up to investigate other departments about how well they're doing. They're not very useful though, despite the good intentions, and just do more harm than good. Like Gordon Brown lololol. (I personally don't mind ol' Gordon, but do vote Lib Dems.) They cost more money, and getting rid of them means more money for you! 


As an interlude to all this political jargon and unfunny references, here's a Blur song about Quangos. Also, the title of the blog, as it was the only song that seemed appropriate... 


Mr. Robinson's Quango


This money will be used to really help out education, especially ol' student grants for those going to University. For the first time, this seems plausible due to the money being made through these cuts. 


Personally, I'll finish here. Lucy and our KS3 candidate (yes, I'm a dick, I don't know his name) made all the points you need to know! You got the main jist about why were awesome by now. If not, then go eat your hands so you can't vote. DO IT. Seriously, it'll be good to see all those who vote next week, both in School and in life? I'll be honest, in terms of the real deal, the best Lib Dems can hope for is a hung parliament, only because of the way the seats work out. But, at least if they get a hung parliament they can do something good! 


So, if you hadn't worked it out by now. Vote Lib Dem, because the Tories are rich tossers and Labour have awful posters. 


Now go away.