America, F**k Yeah!

Today's blog may surprise some of you. Those who know me would expect this blog to be almost meant sarcastically, but I'm being completely serious. Today's topic will be the nation of America...but not how beautiful it is or all the brilliant things it's done as a nation. Instead, I shall be writing my top five suggestions for change. That's what Obama's main slogan is right? He can read this blog, as all important people do, and then make the necessary changes. I have them all perfected, with fully justifiable reasons so Obama just needs to pass the necessary laws. 


The only thing now is what song to go with... I have a choice of 'America is not the World' by Morrissey, which would be quite fitting (as it seems to think so). I can go with 'America, F**k Yeah!' from the film Team America just to be ironic... I'll decide at the end of the blog. I won't be mentioning the Iraq war though, or America's foreign policy because this is just what the country needs to change before I move there, and their foreign policy won't affect me when I live in the country! ;) 


I'll organise in terms of priority...although they're all very important!


1) Right to Bear Arms


What is the American obsession with guns? Seriously Obama, sort this one out. I don't like the fact that guns are readily available. It may be protection for the home...but that leads to the biggest problem. People believe it's a deterrent...hardly! That's why I'm against the nuclear defence programme. As the saying goes "fight fire with fire." If they know you have a Twelve Gauge Shotgun in your home, they will rob you with the same gun (or something more powerful) and let's think about the moment you're both facing each other. Who is more likely to pull that trigger? A hardened criminal or the family man who bought the gun to protect his home. (Psst, the second is you and you're not the right answer!) 


Gun crime is far, far higher than ours. Yes, gun crime in the UK has increased in the last ten or so years, but it is nowhere near as bad as the States. (I don't have official statistics okay nerd boy?) Those reading this may think that we should give the Police guns...but let's flick back shall we genius? Just reapply the same logic shall we? If you give the police guns, the criminals will want them to be able to survive. As it stands, criminals only carry what they need...yes knife crime is a serious problem (especially in the Greater London area) but a lot more people die after getting shot than stabbed. 


Another problem is school shootings. The most recent school shooting statistics are vastly different between our country and America. In America, the most recent being literally last month in Illinois. In the UK, there have been a total of two school shootings in the last 100 years. TWO. And by the way, one of them, in Bristol, nobody was killed.


It's part of the Constitution which is one of the reasons they stick to it so rigidly. Especially as it's part of the first ten. Yet, people were happy enough to prohibit alcohol with the eighteenth and then repeal it soon after with the twenty first. I'm not disagreeing with this choice, but it's the fact that certain amendments are either impractical or dated. I think the U.S Constitution is an example of something which is considered too sacred and needs to be re-examined...a bit like The Bible. Some of its bollocks now, so just revamp it yeah? I thought that was put eloquently enough. 


2) Health Care


You'll have to pay more for lower quality health care, what the fuck?! Well, not strictly true. America pays more than us for their health care overall...and we actually provide a better quality service... why? Because everyone gets it dumb ass. That's the whole point. I would rather see everyone have the chance to just go in when they're sick and have the healthcare be free (sort of.) The only thing wrong with our system is that we put money in the wrong place...but America, you can learn from our mistakes! You can make a completely radical change and help everyone instead of having people help themselves.


Don't turn around and say "Some people don't deserve it." Wrong. I don't care if they're lazy or stupid or ugly or fat or an illegal/legal immigrant. In the words of Singer "A community that fails to protect its poor and sick, can no longer call itself a community." (That is not necessarily the exact quote, I can't find it online.) The point itself is clear. Regarding health care, you give it to anyone who lives within your nation. If you have a problem with their character, that's fine, but you go about helping them in different ways. You would not let anyone who had been shot (by a gun you legalised you sick bastards) die in the street? No, you wouldn't. So why prevent anyone from receiving health care? Or charging them a phenomenal amount for it. 


Obama is already trying to do this...so this is addressed to all the pig-headed, rich, selfish and careless bastards who are standing in his way. In other words, almost every other American! In fairness to them, making this leap from one health care plan to another is not necessarily a good idea. You need to reform slowly, but people do need to open their minds. It's why I was against Obama in the first place. America, you're just not ready for such a radical guy... someone so far left which considering you had someone who was happy to blow up anyone who argued with him...it's a big change. But that's what you wanted, something completely different. You've got it and you're still not happy! No wonder the world stereotypes you as a stupid nation...You're not stupid, just naive. 


3) Pro Choice (*)


Obama you need to decide on this one, federal or state laws? I say Federal regardless of the obvious backlash. Giving someone the choice, such as same-sex marriage seems to cause people to think they personally have to follow through. Uh...no? I don't care how you feel about God or the Bible or any prejudices you have. I'm talking to the South here. You call yourself land of the free? Start making it so. Home of the brave? Stop being so scared and offended by what you don't agree with! I have every right to marry whoever I want, fuck whoever I want and to some extent do whatever I want. In some instances, the government needs to back the fuck off and leave us to it. 


Abortion is another big one. The problem here is that it's not a simple issue. Gay marriage, legal or illegal, simple. Abortion has so many factors that need to be examined. I'll give my opinion because I'm always right anyway, so listen up. Abortion is not a contraceptive. It's a last resort if you can't support the baby and don't want it. It's a tough choice and it should be done as soon as possible. If you can I would say that you put the baby up for adoption but this does cause more problems in the long run. It may sound harsh but a foetus that is killed knows nothing. A child may enquire "Why was I adopted?" The parent may ask "Can I see my child?" It causes complications for all people involved.  It doesn't help that I have such strong views about our population. We need to start deciding if you really must bring the child into this world. I may be male, but I do love children and I'm great with them, but so many are being born to people who aren't ready to raise them and this is no help to anyone. 


Regarding love, don't even think about making laws, just make it legal for any human to marry any human (okay, not children smart arse). Don't judge them and let people live their own lives. Abortion's a tough call, but choice is better than no freedom about it. Get it into your heads that you don't have to run around aborting babies left, right and centre. I suppose 20 weeks should be a long enough time to make an informed decision...that is over six months! Obama, just give people that freedom and ignore State rights...sometimes you need to do this to be able to call yourself a free country. 


*N.B - This will never happen. As mentioned above, states have certain laws about marriages and abortion and it's always been the view that it is not the federal governments rights to choose. This works extremely well in some circumstances and is awful in others. As this is all idealistic, I don't think this makes the point any less valid. 


4) Death Penalty


It was banned here after the infamous Craig and Bentley case, where Derek Bentley was hanged, despite having a mental retardation and was charged with saying some very ambiguous words when his 'friend' Christopher Craig pointed a gun at a policeman. Bentley called out 'Let him have it' and this was taken to mean shoot. The death penalty might be nice in theory, i.e. kill off those sick people who deserve to die and save taxpayers money, yet I would argue human life is worth more than any life.


Saving money doesn't work anyway, due to the appeal system. There are many people on Death Row in America, waiting to die and costing thousands of dollars despite being charged with death. If you want to have the death penalty, I don't think you can have appeals...they just contradict each other. If you are 100% sure that the man or woman is guilty, then 'Let them have it' (get it!). Don't pussy around with rights or freedoms. 


That's the biggest argument against the death penalty...how convinced are you? Giving an innocent person the chair may be something you won't ever be able to live with. If you want a classic, if fictional example of this, see The Green Mile (though read the book first.) It's a brilliant commentary on the blatant flaws of the death penalty. 


When you first hear of a horrific crime...for example a child molester, you immediately think kill the bastard! We have all the evidence, it was definitely them, 100%. Going to kill them off now? I wouldn't. Why? It's the prison they go to. An ironic code of honour exists in prisons, rapists and paedophiles are beaten up repeatedly by other inmates. You may consider this unjust, but I don't. If you take someone else's human rights, in any way, you forfeit your own. Killing them gives them the blissful release from guilt or pain. Let them really suffer while they're here, it would make you feel a lot better! Unless you're genuinely against 'eye for an eye' but I just think that makes you a wimp ;) 


5) Scientology
Just ban it...right out now. It's a stupid, dumb ass religion. I don't give a damn about your freedom of religion. Don't waggle your first ammendment in my face, I will throw up on that part. If you knew anything you dumb fuck nation about your own laws, you'd know that any donation made to a religion is tax free. Who started Scientology? L.Ron Hubbard. A mediocre science fiction writer at best, who wanted a good way to make a lot of money fast and make sure it's tax free. You think you're being so noble as a nation by giving them such freedom. When in fact, you're being taken for a ride and they're laughing the whole way. Every other country has labelled the so-called 'religion' as a cult...so why can't you America? Stop being so hung up on pleasing everyone and take a stand on some things!


Germany's even gone so far as to basically banning it outright. Scientologis  can hand out leaflets but that's all. Hell, they've even gone as far as to ban Tom Cruise films (as he's such a number one advocate of the cult). It's perhaps an example of taking it too far but it amuses me all the same. It's a cult and we know it. Some of the main defences for most religions is that they've been around thousands of years and they don't harm anyone. Scientology will take all your money and was made up in the fifties. That goes against both points right there. Please Obama, be logical and call it as you see it. 


If you want further proof, here's the official definitions of a cult and why Scientology ticks all the boxes. 


1) It uses psychological coercion to indoctrinate and retain members. 
Let's face it, if they told you what they were taking your money for, you'd say "Pah! No way pal!" But they trick you with their lovely charms and promises...tut tut. 


2) It forms an Elitist society.
All the members are actors or other famous people for the most part...so in a way, yes. 


3) Founder leader is self-appointed, dogmatic, charismatic.
This perfectly describes L Ron Hubbard. 


4) Follows a policy of “ends justify the means” for recruitment and raising funds.
Yup, they'll do anything to getcha!


Freedom of Religion is well and good, but a cult doesn't fall under that banner. Especially as Scientology has been known to bully members into staying and charges thousands of dollars for the spiritual rehabilitation. (Hence the celebrities signing up.) It's hardly something I want in my society and Europe agrees with me, so you should you America! Get to it. 


I think I've said all I need to say. Sorry if this was too much at once, but I thought I should do it all in one post. Obama, when you read this, you'll know what to do. It won't make you popular but it'll make you right. If you need any moral support, you know where to find me... I expect the changes to be made within a week of this being read. P.S: Change the Presidency law. It's not 1776 okay pal? We need it to be changed pretty soon because I want to be the 45th President, got it buddy? Okay Barack, I'm all done here.


Now go away.