As many of you may have realised by now...I'm a loser with no real friends. But why is it that I have no real friends? This is because I live my life on Xbox live...and the people on there are my friends, I don't need physical contact or real social interaction! ;) I'm kidding of course, but it is true that I love my games. I thrive on shooting the shit out of Zombies, or passing a virtual ball around beautifully. I can feel like I'm really skilled at something...and in fact, video games popularity has grown considerably. I have already touched on this briefly in 'cool confusion' but I want to expand on a point by justifying why video games are so good. Yes, they can waste hours of your life, yes they can be unhealthy if you play them too much and yes, discussing them in real life will immediately turn people off from being your friend...
However, video games have their good points. They are, to put it simply, very fun. They've advanced so much in the last twenty years, and more and more people enjoy them. I'll be talking about why I think they're so great, but firstly I want to address one constant battle video games face. This battle is against modern media. Each time a game like Grand Theft Auto is released, the media jizz in their pants at the opportunity to complain about how violent it is, how sexual the game is. The media need to learn that video games aren't that bad and kids will do wacky things regardless.
The title is a Gorillaz song, and is about how, apparently, kids will play violent games and then go get a gun and kill a bunch of 'fools'. I'm sure there's something in what the media have to argue... if there wasn't they'd have given up. Yes, there are some morons out there. But why ban the game, just because of a few that have no sense? The game may cause a problem, but surely we should educate the few and culture them rather than saying DON'T VIRTUALLY KILL PEOPLE!
I want to reference an article I once read about violence in video games. Unfortunately, I don't have the article to hand, but I can tell you about the point it made. The gentleman told of how he let his five year old child play Grand Theft Auto. This would shock most people, but not if you hear how the child played the game. He didn't steal any cars, he found an empty one outside his house, which he assumed was his. He drove at the speed limit, stopped at traffic lights, and when he accidentally ran someone over, he was very apologetic. The ambulance came to rescue them, and the child asked if he could drive it. His father said yes, and showed him how to save people in the ambulance, which the child promptly did.
Hang on, the child is doing good? Yup, Grand Theft Auto allows you to save people and take them to a hospital, put out fires and even catch criminals... None of this is mentioned on the news...funny that. The point the guy was making is that, although Grand Theft Auto is violent, for the majority, the people who will be aware of how to do all the bad things are those who are old enough to understand it's just a game. The child in the story doesn't even consider murder or sex with prostitutes. I'm not saying you should let all children or young adolescents play violent games, but if they've been raised properly...I don't think it should have an effect on them. I've been raised pretty well, and I first played Grand Theft Auto at fifteen. Have I gone off and punched someone and stolen his car and then run over an old lady? No. Have I held up a liqueur store? No. Even if I did these horrendous acts, or knew someone who had...I wouldn't point the finger of blame at video games. That's just ludicrous!
I think I've said enough about why the media is mostly wrong, and should shut up when crying each time a game is released that makes baby Jesus cry. Yes, there are the odd cases of thick kids going around and beating each other up, because of video games, but for the most part I would say it's the environment they'd raised in and their social background. Video games are pretty fun, and banning them would just let the cultured, smart ones of us suffer...We'd get angry and kill people anyway...so why ban them in the first place?
Personally, video games relax me. I enjoy a couple of hours shooting virtual enemies, or scoring a fantastic goal that my loser self could never accomplish. In fact, they are social...especially with inventions like the Wii. It sounds corny, but they can be a good family activity. Last boxing day, my uncle, aunt and cousin came round and we played a round of Wii Sports. It was a lot of fun, we had some good laughs, and it made us happy! Yes, Wii Sports is not the game they complain about in the media, but games in general are getting a bad rep. Leave them alone okay?
Another example, if you still aren't convinced. When I was younger, my dad would play games with me...and he even beat Metal Gear Solid before me. It bought us closer together, and was something we'd bond over! What's the problem with that? Talking of childhood, I also fondly remember some of the games I played as a kid...and sometimes watch videos of people playing them on youtube. It makes me feel warm inside for a moment, and modern video games are just a nice escape from some of the shit in this world... None of that sounds like a reason to ban them? We should start embracing them! This is such a nerdy blog, but I don't care. I like video games, and sure, sometimes I think why bother? But they're enjoyable and for a little while I can just be content! And as every idiot out there wanks over the latest Halo or Call of Duty, I think I can say video games are getting rid of there nerd image. If you think they're cool, then I must be, as I've been playing them way longer than you pal... but then, we already knew I was cool. ;) To prove it, I'm off to play Dead Rising 2, which is fun and the only people I'm tempted to kill are Zombies, and who doesn't want them taken out?
Now go away.
Friday, 24 September 2010
Friday, 17 September 2010
Forever Young
Today is a light-hearted, easy-going topic about me. I generally try and avoid blogs about me, because I'm not self-obsessed unlike some dick head bloggers out there. Talking of dick heads...I think I'll quickly introduce you to a song by a friend of a friend. It's highly amusing and if you're a person who fits in the 'indie' and 'self-obsessed' category, this song is directed at you! Enjoy...dick head.
1980-1989
The winner is: The Breakfast Club 1985
Other great films of this decade: The Shining 1980, Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back 1980, Airplane 1980, Raging Bull 1980, Raiders of the Lost Ark 1981, Blade Runner 1982, The Evil Dead 1982, Diner 1982, Gandhi 1982, Videodrome 1983, Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi 1983, Once Upon a Time in America 1983, Scarface 1983, The Terminator 1984, Ghost Busters 1984, Back to the Future 1985, The Colour Purple 1985, Stand by Me 1986, The Fly 1986, Aliens 1986, Ferris Bueller's Day Off 1986, Platoon 1986, Top Gun 1986, Full Metal Jacket 1987, Withnail and I 1987, Good Morning, Vietnam 1987, The Untouchables 1987, A Fish Called Wanda 1988, Big 1988, Die Hard 1988, Rain Man 1988, Batman 1989, When Harry Met Sally 1989.
With the eighties, there were two big categories of films, Vietnam war films and Teen films with teen-pop, mostly starring actors from a group of kids known by the media as 'The Brat Pack.' Although the Vietnam War films are all brilliant, The Breakfast Club is easily one of my personal favourites. It opens with five teens who know very little about each other. Over the course of the day, they become acquainted and learn things about each other that nobody else knows. It's a typical coming-of-age film and each actor is brilliant in their own role, (though my personal favourite being Judd Nelson.) It has a mixture of comedy, romance and drama. It has one of the best monologues I've seen in any film, some highly amusing lines and some classic montage scenes set to a brilliant soundtrack. It's a feel good film and you come away feeling that life can be pretty good sometimes.
1990-1999
The winner is: The Shawshank Redemption 1994
Other great films of this decade: Goodfellas 1990, Dances with Wolves 1990, Edward Scissorhands 1990, Total Recall 1990, Terminator 2: Judgement Day 1991, JFK 1991, Resevoir Dogs 1992, Romper Stomper 1992, Glengarry Glen Ross 1992, Groundhog Day 1993, Philadelphia 1993, Schindler's List 1993, The Lion King 1994, Clerks 1994, Four Weddings and a Funeral 1994, Pulp Fiction 1994, Babe 1995, Tou Story 1995, Casino 1995, Heat 1995, Clueless 1995, Se7en 1995, The Usual Suspects 1995, Fargo 1996, The English Patient 1996, L.A. Confidential 1997, Saving Private Ryan 1998, Fight Club 1999, Being John Malkovich 1999, American Beauty 1999, The Matrix 1999, The Sixth Sense 1999, The Green Mile 1999.
Almost all of my top films were made in this decade. Arguably because I grew up with them, but then I wasn't watching Schindler's List or Pulp Fiction at five was I? Yes, The Shawshank Redemption wins hands down. It's based off of a short story by Stephen King, and tells the moving story of a man who is jailed in prison, despite being adamant that he is not guilty. It is a story which shows a long period of time within the jail...from the perspective of one of the inmates 'Red' (played by Morgan Freeman.) It has many touching moments, not all regarding the two leads...and you gain an emotional involvement in almost all of the main prisoners. You gain a different perspective about prison life...and it raises the question, does incarceration for such an extended time do a man any good? It is one of the best prison films you'll see and the story is written so that it pans out brilliantly.
Back to the point in hand. I don't have any great ideas this week, I could have done about the Papal visit, but I'd just be repeating the obvious back at you...he's a powerful man, and is corrupt, he turns a blind eye to paedophilia and doesn't like homosexuals...we get it, he's a bastard.
Instead, I'm settling with something that is partly my opinion but will also give you some insight into some film history. I am going to do the last hundred years of film (not including the last ten years) and choose one film from each decade but also a couple high class runners up. This isn't easy, especially when you get to the nineties which had the brilliance of Fight Club, Pulp Fiction and The Shawshank Redemption. Which one will I choose? You'll have to wait and see ;). I won't do any spoilers, so don't worry yourself, but I will be justifying them against other films released in that decade. It will be long, but bear with me...it'll be hopefully interesting, and I'll have fun doing it. Let me get my trusty 1001 Films to See Before you Die. Don't worry, I know this stuff, but it's for reference to film years, I'm a film aficionado but not a complete film nerd ;)
1900-1909
The winner is : The Great Train Robbery 1903
Other great films of this decade: Le Voyage Dans La Lune (A Trip to the Moon) 1902.
It was one of the first westerns. Directed by Edwin S. Porter, it was a great silent adventure, following the tale of two train robbers who attempt to rob a mail train. There's not much else to say about it, apart from it contains some iconic cinematography...and at only twelve minutes long, it manages to tell a fantastic tale.
1910-1919
The winner is: The Birth of a Nation 1915
Other great films of this decade: Les Vampires, 1915, Das Kabinett Des Doktor Caligari (The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari) 1919.
A film I briefly looked into when attempting a historical enquiry into racism in America. It is one of the most controversial films of all time. The reason being is because it displays the KKK in a very good light. However, the films context and story is fascinating. Considering it was made so early on in film history, it is still over three hours long and manages to capture brilliantly the mood and feeling towards blacks in the South. It is a three hour epic, but if you have any interest in learning about racism at the time, this is a great historical insight. D.W. Griffith manages to get the mood perfectly, and it probably helps that he was a definite racist, hence the positive way the KKK are portrayed.
1920-1929
The winner is: Nosferatu, Eine Symphonie Des Grauens (Nosferatu, A Symphony of Terror) 1922
Other great films of this decade: The Thief of Bagdad 1924 (Where Disney got many ideas for Aladdin), Sherlock, Jr. 1924, The Phantom of the Opera 1925, Bronenosets Potyomkin (The Battleship Potemkin) 1925, Metropolis 1927.
This was a tough one...so many fantastic films released that year. I've only seen two of them however...pretty embarrassing for a film buff like me! Out of those two, the other being The Battleship Potemkin, I enjoyed Nosferatu a great deal more. It is based on the tale of Dracula by Bram Stoker. What it does best is use music to effectively create tension. The opening scene is brilliant and works well to powerfully create the sense of dread that hangs over the whole film. It was a brilliant take on the idea of a vampire, the art of seduction to tempt his victims before going in for the kill. If you thought Twishite was good, you have seen nothing yet, this is what a vampire film should be.
1930-1939
The winner is: Modern Times 1936
Other great films of this decade: All Quiet on the Western Front 1930, Dracula 1931, Frankenstein 1931, Scarface: The Shame of a Nation 1932, Duck Soup 1933, King Kong 1933, A Night at the Opera 1935, The 39 Steps 1935, Mr Deeds Goes to Town 1936, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves 1937, Angels with Dirty Faces 1938, Mr Smith Goes to Washington 1939, Wizard of Oz 1939, Gone with the Wind 1939.
As you can see, there is a helluva lot of films released that year that all made their mark on cinema. I could have picked Gone with the Wind but I feel that it's not as enjoyable as Modern Times. One of my favourite Chaplin films, Modern Times is a masterpiece of physical comedy. It centres around one of Chaplin's main characters, 'The Tramp.' It was the first Chaplin film with sound, the sound being Chaplin singing. It's a sweet, charming and funny tale and will make you immediately fall in love with the genius that was Charlie Chaplin.
1940-1949
The winner is: Ladri Di Biciclette (The Bicycle Thief) 1948
Other great films of this decade: The Philadelphia Story 1940, Pinocchio 1940, Citizen Kane 1941, The Maltese Falcon 1941, Dumbo 1941, Casablanca 1942, To Have and Have Not 1944, Spellbound 1945, It's a Wonderful Life 1946, Rope 1948, The Red Shoes 1948.
This is tough! I am flicking through my book, because I'm using this as a guide and there's so many! I am trying to be original with the choice in best film. Citizen Kane and It's A Wonderful Life were both released in this decade, and I've chosen an Italian film over both of them. A film I can bet you won't have heard of too! The film stands out to me because it was one made with non-actors. The director, Vittorio De Sica apparently chose the principle actors on their walk alone. It is a simple but touching story. The Italian title is actually The Bicycle Thieves and the title gives away what the main premise is. However, the focus is on the father and his son as they look for the bike. There are some fantastic moments, some heartbreaking and some that fill you with warmth...but you'll have to just watch it to see these moments for yourself ;).
1950-1959
The winner is: Some Like it Hot 1959
Other great films of this decade: Sunset Blvd. 1950, A Streetcar Named Desire 1951, Singing in the Rain 1952, On the Waterfront 1954, Rear Window 1954, Rebel without a Cause 1955, Giant 1956, 12 Angry Men 1957, Vertigo 1958.
I have seen almost all the films I've mentioned (in terms of the other great films list). However, in this decade Some Like it Hot is easily the best. It has some fantastic performances from both Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis. Billie Wilder is a brilliant director, of many genres and the film ends with one of the best lines in film history. Obviously, if I just said it, you'd think "that's not that great" but it's the context in which it's said. It's got some highly humorous scenes, including a homage to Cary Grant, by Tony Curtis. It also stars Marilyn Monroe, a vastly under rated actress who also performs 'I want to be loved by You' in the film, and she makes it an comic romance rather than just a comedy.
1960-1969
The winner is: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb 1964
Other great films of this decade: Spartacus 1960, West Side Story 1961, To Kill a Mockingbird 1962, The Manchurian Candidate 1962, The Birds 1963, The Great Escape 1963, Goldfinger 1964, Blowup 1966, Il Buono, Il Brutto, Il Cattivo (The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly) 1966, The Graduate 1967, Cool Hand Luke 1967, The Producers 1968, 2001: A Space Odyssey 1968, Night of the Living Dead 1968, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid 1969, Easy Rider 1969.
I've already done an entire blog on To Kill a Mockingbird, both the book and then the film respectively. Therefore, I wanted to choose a film that isn't as good but is easily my favourite, after the Gregory Peck epic. It is a stark look at the fear of Nuclear War following on from the aftermath of World War Two. It does so in a darkly humorous way, and there are some brilliant one-liners. Peter Sellers is fantastic as Dr. Strangelove, a crazed German doctor who loves the idea of nuclear war. He's also brilliant as Captain Mandrake and also wonderful as the President. Yes, Stellers plays three roles and would have even played a fourth if it weren't for difficulties with a broken leg and also his inability to do a Texan accent. Out of the Kubrick films I've seen (the director) it is by far my favourite. It is a clever, insightful and witty film. As an added bonus, it was James Earl Jones (the voice of Darth Vader) debut film.
1970-1979
The winner is: The Godfather 1972
Other great films of this decade: Five Easy Pieces 1970, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 1971, A Clockwork Orange 1971, Get Carter 1971, Dirty Harry 1971, Papillon 1973, Mean Streets 1973, Chinatown 1974, The Godfather: Part II 1974, Dog Day Afternoon 1975, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest 1975, The Rocky Horror Picture Show 1975, Monty Python and the Holy Grail 1975, Barry Lyndon 1975, Carrie 1976, Taxi Driver 1976, Network 1976, Star Wars 1977, Stroszek 1977, The Deer Hunter 1978, Dawn of the Dead 1978, Halloween 1978, Alien 1979, Kramer 1979, Life of Brian 1979, Apocalypse Now 1979, The Jerk 1979.
The hardest decade thus far! However, it was made easy by the fact I haven't seen half of these, I just know you should. I'm afraid I'm being very unoriginal in my choice this time, but it The Godfather is a fantastic drama. It charts the rise of the son of a Mafia don, played to perfection by Al Pacino. Based on the brilliant novel by Mario Puzo, this film does almost everything right. It manages to create a balance between disgust at the criminal activities and yet you hold an admiration for the principles of the Don, these being ones of honour and respect. The Don being played by Marlon Brando, one of his last great roles.) The end scene is juxtaposition of the highest class and is one of my favourite moments in film history. It was a tough call between this and the second film (which does just as well) but the first is about the rise of Pacino's character, and is a far more engaging tale.
The hardest decade thus far! However, it was made easy by the fact I haven't seen half of these, I just know you should. I'm afraid I'm being very unoriginal in my choice this time, but it The Godfather is a fantastic drama. It charts the rise of the son of a Mafia don, played to perfection by Al Pacino. Based on the brilliant novel by Mario Puzo, this film does almost everything right. It manages to create a balance between disgust at the criminal activities and yet you hold an admiration for the principles of the Don, these being ones of honour and respect. The Don being played by Marlon Brando, one of his last great roles.) The end scene is juxtaposition of the highest class and is one of my favourite moments in film history. It was a tough call between this and the second film (which does just as well) but the first is about the rise of Pacino's character, and is a far more engaging tale.
1980-1989
The winner is: The Breakfast Club 1985
Other great films of this decade: The Shining 1980, Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back 1980, Airplane 1980, Raging Bull 1980, Raiders of the Lost Ark 1981, Blade Runner 1982, The Evil Dead 1982, Diner 1982, Gandhi 1982, Videodrome 1983, Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi 1983, Once Upon a Time in America 1983, Scarface 1983, The Terminator 1984, Ghost Busters 1984, Back to the Future 1985, The Colour Purple 1985, Stand by Me 1986, The Fly 1986, Aliens 1986, Ferris Bueller's Day Off 1986, Platoon 1986, Top Gun 1986, Full Metal Jacket 1987, Withnail and I 1987, Good Morning, Vietnam 1987, The Untouchables 1987, A Fish Called Wanda 1988, Big 1988, Die Hard 1988, Rain Man 1988, Batman 1989, When Harry Met Sally 1989.
With the eighties, there were two big categories of films, Vietnam war films and Teen films with teen-pop, mostly starring actors from a group of kids known by the media as 'The Brat Pack.' Although the Vietnam War films are all brilliant, The Breakfast Club is easily one of my personal favourites. It opens with five teens who know very little about each other. Over the course of the day, they become acquainted and learn things about each other that nobody else knows. It's a typical coming-of-age film and each actor is brilliant in their own role, (though my personal favourite being Judd Nelson.) It has a mixture of comedy, romance and drama. It has one of the best monologues I've seen in any film, some highly amusing lines and some classic montage scenes set to a brilliant soundtrack. It's a feel good film and you come away feeling that life can be pretty good sometimes.
1990-1999
The winner is: The Shawshank Redemption 1994
Other great films of this decade: Goodfellas 1990, Dances with Wolves 1990, Edward Scissorhands 1990, Total Recall 1990, Terminator 2: Judgement Day 1991, JFK 1991, Resevoir Dogs 1992, Romper Stomper 1992, Glengarry Glen Ross 1992, Groundhog Day 1993, Philadelphia 1993, Schindler's List 1993, The Lion King 1994, Clerks 1994, Four Weddings and a Funeral 1994, Pulp Fiction 1994, Babe 1995, Tou Story 1995, Casino 1995, Heat 1995, Clueless 1995, Se7en 1995, The Usual Suspects 1995, Fargo 1996, The English Patient 1996, L.A. Confidential 1997, Saving Private Ryan 1998, Fight Club 1999, Being John Malkovich 1999, American Beauty 1999, The Matrix 1999, The Sixth Sense 1999, The Green Mile 1999.
Almost all of my top films were made in this decade. Arguably because I grew up with them, but then I wasn't watching Schindler's List or Pulp Fiction at five was I? Yes, The Shawshank Redemption wins hands down. It's based off of a short story by Stephen King, and tells the moving story of a man who is jailed in prison, despite being adamant that he is not guilty. It is a story which shows a long period of time within the jail...from the perspective of one of the inmates 'Red' (played by Morgan Freeman.) It has many touching moments, not all regarding the two leads...and you gain an emotional involvement in almost all of the main prisoners. You gain a different perspective about prison life...and it raises the question, does incarceration for such an extended time do a man any good? It is one of the best prison films you'll see and the story is written so that it pans out brilliantly.
Well, we finally made it...all ten decades that I wanted to cover. Thanks for keeping up! (Unless you closed the window half way through, you dick head.) The song title is one by Alphaville...who are the original musicians behind Forever Young and not Mr. Hudson as I first believed...so much for fucking originality eh? At least this blog is! ;) The title is my own reference to the fact that you aren't going to be forever young...so you might as well go watch all those films now! Don't come back until you've seen at least each winner from each decade! It's only ten films! Better get started until you're so old that you don't even remember what decade the film is from and therefore can't tell if you've accomplished my goal...better get started oldie.
Now go away.
Friday, 10 September 2010
Not Fair
Today's topic will be one that may cause you to shift uncomfortably in your seat. I'm going to be discussing sex! :O I can hear you gasping and covering your mouths from here. Don't worry your pretty little head, it's not about what sex is like...I'm clearly a virgin, have you noticed how many masturbation jokes I make in these blog posts? Not good at all! This particular idea was by a girl I've met recently called Emmie, who is lovely by the way...and it was a very good idea. Also, just like my blog about Vegetarianism, it saves the trouble of thinking up a song for the title. The titular song being is 'Not Fair' by Lily Allen and those who have heard it will be aware of what it's about. For those who haven't heard it, or those too thick to work out the song's blatant meaning, it's about a guy who is amazing in every way except when he's in bed. I'll let Lily sing it herself so those who haven't heard it can understand what I'm on about...
Not Fair - Lily Allen
For those still confused...this blog will be about which is more important, sex or the person's nature? Many of you, like me, will say the person's nature. It should be without question right? But what if the sex is awful...women I'm looking at you really. Let's face it, men could enjoy sex with a cardboard box if it was lubricated enough. If the sex is rubbish, will you want to sleep with that same person for life (assuming you get married?) No, of course not. If the sex is bad, and you're already married...you might resort to cheating. I know most of you wouldn't, but I'll bet one of you is thinking of sleeping with someone else...you absolute bastard. I would never cheat, sex isn't that important, and never should...but let's think about this rationally for a second.
Sex, to me at least, is about trust. I will not sleep with anyone I don't trust completely. You need to trust them not to laugh if you make a mistake, or not to say "Is that it?". You need to be sure they won't go and tell their friends, even if they're telling them you're great...it's a breach of trust. Sex is personal to you and your partner alone. If you come up to me and try to tell me you've finally had sex with your girlfriend/boyfriend I will personally slap you. (though the latter isn't normally a problem, girls generally have more common sense regarding this subject.)
Sex has certainly had an image shift over the last fifty years. It used to be taboo to talk about, you only did it within marriage (officially) and it was never on television. Then the whole 'free love' hit the history books and STIs began spreading like wild fire. I'm kidding of course, but sex is now viewed as something it should be...a natural thing between two people. (Notice I said people, homosexuality is just as natural as us you narrow minded person!)
However, I don't think that means sex should be talked about freely. I don't care who you sleep with, how many people or when you did it. I'm not a prude and I'm happy talking about sex, but unless I completely trust you I wouldn't even tell you if I'd lost my virginity. I may have lost it already ('Ha!' I hear you say again) but you wouldn't know because it's none of your damn business. I've only asked about someone's sex life once and it was only because they were ready to share... I certainly didn't pester them. I sometimes am asked if certain people have had sex, and that pisses me right off. Unless they have a threesome involving me, I'm not going to know am I you moron? Even if I did know, it's still not your god damned business! Jeez, get a life and watch Newsnight instead of thinking about other people having sex, you perverse weirdo.
Argh, this is a topic that angers me so I've lost myself a little. Referring back to the song, if you find a man or woman who cares about you so much, is it so important that the sex is amazing? Of course not, but at the same time I would say that the sex should be enjoyable. I believe you connect with someone in a physical way, and if you have great sex with someone you love and trust...it becomes making love. This is the vital difference between some person you've met at a club, and that wonderful person you've been with and trust. The sex then becomes making love and means a whole lot more. Although it may seem obvious that the emotional bond is more important than sex, I don't think it's unfair to say that if the sex is awful, it makes the relationship hard. But trust me, if that person is right for you, the sex should be good as well, I guess that's how you know. To understand this last point easily, as I'm crap at explaining myself, read 'How to be Good' by Nick Hornby. (It's not a sex book if that's what you think.) It's just about a woman who cheats on her husband, and it doesn't feel natural. She doesn't think she loves her husband (hence why she cheats), but realises the sex with him just felt...right. Hopefully you can have that bond and the good sex with someone one day, and if your sex life with that special someone is good already, I don't want to know ;)
Now go away.
Not Fair - Lily Allen
For those still confused...this blog will be about which is more important, sex or the person's nature? Many of you, like me, will say the person's nature. It should be without question right? But what if the sex is awful...women I'm looking at you really. Let's face it, men could enjoy sex with a cardboard box if it was lubricated enough. If the sex is rubbish, will you want to sleep with that same person for life (assuming you get married?) No, of course not. If the sex is bad, and you're already married...you might resort to cheating. I know most of you wouldn't, but I'll bet one of you is thinking of sleeping with someone else...you absolute bastard. I would never cheat, sex isn't that important, and never should...but let's think about this rationally for a second.
Sex, to me at least, is about trust. I will not sleep with anyone I don't trust completely. You need to trust them not to laugh if you make a mistake, or not to say "Is that it?". You need to be sure they won't go and tell their friends, even if they're telling them you're great...it's a breach of trust. Sex is personal to you and your partner alone. If you come up to me and try to tell me you've finally had sex with your girlfriend/boyfriend I will personally slap you. (though the latter isn't normally a problem, girls generally have more common sense regarding this subject.)
Sex has certainly had an image shift over the last fifty years. It used to be taboo to talk about, you only did it within marriage (officially) and it was never on television. Then the whole 'free love' hit the history books and STIs began spreading like wild fire. I'm kidding of course, but sex is now viewed as something it should be...a natural thing between two people. (Notice I said people, homosexuality is just as natural as us you narrow minded person!)
However, I don't think that means sex should be talked about freely. I don't care who you sleep with, how many people or when you did it. I'm not a prude and I'm happy talking about sex, but unless I completely trust you I wouldn't even tell you if I'd lost my virginity. I may have lost it already ('Ha!' I hear you say again) but you wouldn't know because it's none of your damn business. I've only asked about someone's sex life once and it was only because they were ready to share... I certainly didn't pester them. I sometimes am asked if certain people have had sex, and that pisses me right off. Unless they have a threesome involving me, I'm not going to know am I you moron? Even if I did know, it's still not your god damned business! Jeez, get a life and watch Newsnight instead of thinking about other people having sex, you perverse weirdo.
Argh, this is a topic that angers me so I've lost myself a little. Referring back to the song, if you find a man or woman who cares about you so much, is it so important that the sex is amazing? Of course not, but at the same time I would say that the sex should be enjoyable. I believe you connect with someone in a physical way, and if you have great sex with someone you love and trust...it becomes making love. This is the vital difference between some person you've met at a club, and that wonderful person you've been with and trust. The sex then becomes making love and means a whole lot more. Although it may seem obvious that the emotional bond is more important than sex, I don't think it's unfair to say that if the sex is awful, it makes the relationship hard. But trust me, if that person is right for you, the sex should be good as well, I guess that's how you know. To understand this last point easily, as I'm crap at explaining myself, read 'How to be Good' by Nick Hornby. (It's not a sex book if that's what you think.) It's just about a woman who cheats on her husband, and it doesn't feel natural. She doesn't think she loves her husband (hence why she cheats), but realises the sex with him just felt...right. Hopefully you can have that bond and the good sex with someone one day, and if your sex life with that special someone is good already, I don't want to know ;)
Now go away.
Friday, 3 September 2010
America, F**k Yeah!
Today's blog may surprise some of you. Those who know me would expect this blog to be almost meant sarcastically, but I'm being completely serious. Today's topic will be the nation of America...but not how beautiful it is or all the brilliant things it's done as a nation. Instead, I shall be writing my top five suggestions for change. That's what Obama's main slogan is right? He can read this blog, as all important people do, and then make the necessary changes. I have them all perfected, with fully justifiable reasons so Obama just needs to pass the necessary laws.
The only thing now is what song to go with... I have a choice of 'America is not the World' by Morrissey, which would be quite fitting (as it seems to think so). I can go with 'America, F**k Yeah!' from the film Team America just to be ironic... I'll decide at the end of the blog. I won't be mentioning the Iraq war though, or America's foreign policy because this is just what the country needs to change before I move there, and their foreign policy won't affect me when I live in the country! ;)
I'll organise in terms of priority...although they're all very important!
1) Right to Bear Arms
What is the American obsession with guns? Seriously Obama, sort this one out. I don't like the fact that guns are readily available. It may be protection for the home...but that leads to the biggest problem. People believe it's a deterrent...hardly! That's why I'm against the nuclear defence programme. As the saying goes "fight fire with fire." If they know you have a Twelve Gauge Shotgun in your home, they will rob you with the same gun (or something more powerful) and let's think about the moment you're both facing each other. Who is more likely to pull that trigger? A hardened criminal or the family man who bought the gun to protect his home. (Psst, the second is you and you're not the right answer!)
Gun crime is far, far higher than ours. Yes, gun crime in the UK has increased in the last ten or so years, but it is nowhere near as bad as the States. (I don't have official statistics okay nerd boy?) Those reading this may think that we should give the Police guns...but let's flick back shall we genius? Just reapply the same logic shall we? If you give the police guns, the criminals will want them to be able to survive. As it stands, criminals only carry what they need...yes knife crime is a serious problem (especially in the Greater London area) but a lot more people die after getting shot than stabbed.
Another problem is school shootings. The most recent school shooting statistics are vastly different between our country and America. In America, the most recent being literally last month in Illinois. In the UK, there have been a total of two school shootings in the last 100 years. TWO. And by the way, one of them, in Bristol, nobody was killed.
It's part of the Constitution which is one of the reasons they stick to it so rigidly. Especially as it's part of the first ten. Yet, people were happy enough to prohibit alcohol with the eighteenth and then repeal it soon after with the twenty first. I'm not disagreeing with this choice, but it's the fact that certain amendments are either impractical or dated. I think the U.S Constitution is an example of something which is considered too sacred and needs to be re-examined...a bit like The Bible. Some of its bollocks now, so just revamp it yeah? I thought that was put eloquently enough.
2) Health Care
You'll have to pay more for lower quality health care, what the fuck?! Well, not strictly true. America pays more than us for their health care overall...and we actually provide a better quality service... why? Because everyone gets it dumb ass. That's the whole point. I would rather see everyone have the chance to just go in when they're sick and have the healthcare be free (sort of.) The only thing wrong with our system is that we put money in the wrong place...but America, you can learn from our mistakes! You can make a completely radical change and help everyone instead of having people help themselves.
Don't turn around and say "Some people don't deserve it." Wrong. I don't care if they're lazy or stupid or ugly or fat or an illegal/legal immigrant. In the words of Singer "A community that fails to protect its poor and sick, can no longer call itself a community." (That is not necessarily the exact quote, I can't find it online.) The point itself is clear. Regarding health care, you give it to anyone who lives within your nation. If you have a problem with their character, that's fine, but you go about helping them in different ways. You would not let anyone who had been shot (by a gun you legalised you sick bastards) die in the street? No, you wouldn't. So why prevent anyone from receiving health care? Or charging them a phenomenal amount for it.
Obama is already trying to do this...so this is addressed to all the pig-headed, rich, selfish and careless bastards who are standing in his way. In other words, almost every other American! In fairness to them, making this leap from one health care plan to another is not necessarily a good idea. You need to reform slowly, but people do need to open their minds. It's why I was against Obama in the first place. America, you're just not ready for such a radical guy... someone so far left which considering you had someone who was happy to blow up anyone who argued with him...it's a big change. But that's what you wanted, something completely different. You've got it and you're still not happy! No wonder the world stereotypes you as a stupid nation...You're not stupid, just naive.
3) Pro Choice (*)
Obama you need to decide on this one, federal or state laws? I say Federal regardless of the obvious backlash. Giving someone the choice, such as same-sex marriage seems to cause people to think they personally have to follow through. Uh...no? I don't care how you feel about God or the Bible or any prejudices you have. I'm talking to the South here. You call yourself land of the free? Start making it so. Home of the brave? Stop being so scared and offended by what you don't agree with! I have every right to marry whoever I want, fuck whoever I want and to some extent do whatever I want. In some instances, the government needs to back the fuck off and leave us to it.
Abortion is another big one. The problem here is that it's not a simple issue. Gay marriage, legal or illegal, simple. Abortion has so many factors that need to be examined. I'll give my opinion because I'm always right anyway, so listen up. Abortion is not a contraceptive. It's a last resort if you can't support the baby and don't want it. It's a tough choice and it should be done as soon as possible. If you can I would say that you put the baby up for adoption but this does cause more problems in the long run. It may sound harsh but a foetus that is killed knows nothing. A child may enquire "Why was I adopted?" The parent may ask "Can I see my child?" It causes complications for all people involved. It doesn't help that I have such strong views about our population. We need to start deciding if you really must bring the child into this world. I may be male, but I do love children and I'm great with them, but so many are being born to people who aren't ready to raise them and this is no help to anyone.
Regarding love, don't even think about making laws, just make it legal for any human to marry any human (okay, not children smart arse). Don't judge them and let people live their own lives. Abortion's a tough call, but choice is better than no freedom about it. Get it into your heads that you don't have to run around aborting babies left, right and centre. I suppose 20 weeks should be a long enough time to make an informed decision...that is over six months! Obama, just give people that freedom and ignore State rights...sometimes you need to do this to be able to call yourself a free country.
*N.B - This will never happen. As mentioned above, states have certain laws about marriages and abortion and it's always been the view that it is not the federal governments rights to choose. This works extremely well in some circumstances and is awful in others. As this is all idealistic, I don't think this makes the point any less valid.
4) Death Penalty
It was banned here after the infamous Craig and Bentley case, where Derek Bentley was hanged, despite having a mental retardation and was charged with saying some very ambiguous words when his 'friend' Christopher Craig pointed a gun at a policeman. Bentley called out 'Let him have it' and this was taken to mean shoot. The death penalty might be nice in theory, i.e. kill off those sick people who deserve to die and save taxpayers money, yet I would argue human life is worth more than any life.
Saving money doesn't work anyway, due to the appeal system. There are many people on Death Row in America, waiting to die and costing thousands of dollars despite being charged with death. If you want to have the death penalty, I don't think you can have appeals...they just contradict each other. If you are 100% sure that the man or woman is guilty, then 'Let them have it' (get it!). Don't pussy around with rights or freedoms.
That's the biggest argument against the death penalty...how convinced are you? Giving an innocent person the chair may be something you won't ever be able to live with. If you want a classic, if fictional example of this, see The Green Mile (though read the book first.) It's a brilliant commentary on the blatant flaws of the death penalty.
When you first hear of a horrific crime...for example a child molester, you immediately think kill the bastard! We have all the evidence, it was definitely them, 100%. Going to kill them off now? I wouldn't. Why? It's the prison they go to. An ironic code of honour exists in prisons, rapists and paedophiles are beaten up repeatedly by other inmates. You may consider this unjust, but I don't. If you take someone else's human rights, in any way, you forfeit your own. Killing them gives them the blissful release from guilt or pain. Let them really suffer while they're here, it would make you feel a lot better! Unless you're genuinely against 'eye for an eye' but I just think that makes you a wimp ;)
5) Scientology
Just ban it...right out now. It's a stupid, dumb ass religion. I don't give a damn about your freedom of religion. Don't waggle your first ammendment in my face, I will throw up on that part. If you knew anything you dumb fuck nation about your own laws, you'd know that any donation made to a religion is tax free. Who started Scientology? L.Ron Hubbard. A mediocre science fiction writer at best, who wanted a good way to make a lot of money fast and make sure it's tax free. You think you're being so noble as a nation by giving them such freedom. When in fact, you're being taken for a ride and they're laughing the whole way. Every other country has labelled the so-called 'religion' as a cult...so why can't you America? Stop being so hung up on pleasing everyone and take a stand on some things!
Germany's even gone so far as to basically banning it outright. Scientologis can hand out leaflets but that's all. Hell, they've even gone as far as to ban Tom Cruise films (as he's such a number one advocate of the cult). It's perhaps an example of taking it too far but it amuses me all the same. It's a cult and we know it. Some of the main defences for most religions is that they've been around thousands of years and they don't harm anyone. Scientology will take all your money and was made up in the fifties. That goes against both points right there. Please Obama, be logical and call it as you see it.
If you want further proof, here's the official definitions of a cult and why Scientology ticks all the boxes.
1) It uses psychological coercion to indoctrinate and retain members.
Let's face it, if they told you what they were taking your money for, you'd say "Pah! No way pal!" But they trick you with their lovely charms and promises...tut tut.
2) It forms an Elitist society.
All the members are actors or other famous people for the most part...so in a way, yes.
3) Founder leader is self-appointed, dogmatic, charismatic.
This perfectly describes L Ron Hubbard.
4) Follows a policy of “ends justify the means” for recruitment and raising funds.
Yup, they'll do anything to getcha!
Freedom of Religion is well and good, but a cult doesn't fall under that banner. Especially as Scientology has been known to bully members into staying and charges thousands of dollars for the spiritual rehabilitation. (Hence the celebrities signing up.) It's hardly something I want in my society and Europe agrees with me, so you should you America! Get to it.
I think I've said all I need to say. Sorry if this was too much at once, but I thought I should do it all in one post. Obama, when you read this, you'll know what to do. It won't make you popular but it'll make you right. If you need any moral support, you know where to find me... I expect the changes to be made within a week of this being read. P.S: Change the Presidency law. It's not 1776 okay pal? We need it to be changed pretty soon because I want to be the 45th President, got it buddy? Okay Barack, I'm all done here.
Now go away.
The only thing now is what song to go with... I have a choice of 'America is not the World' by Morrissey, which would be quite fitting (as it seems to think so). I can go with 'America, F**k Yeah!' from the film Team America just to be ironic... I'll decide at the end of the blog. I won't be mentioning the Iraq war though, or America's foreign policy because this is just what the country needs to change before I move there, and their foreign policy won't affect me when I live in the country! ;)
I'll organise in terms of priority...although they're all very important!
1) Right to Bear Arms
What is the American obsession with guns? Seriously Obama, sort this one out. I don't like the fact that guns are readily available. It may be protection for the home...but that leads to the biggest problem. People believe it's a deterrent...hardly! That's why I'm against the nuclear defence programme. As the saying goes "fight fire with fire." If they know you have a Twelve Gauge Shotgun in your home, they will rob you with the same gun (or something more powerful) and let's think about the moment you're both facing each other. Who is more likely to pull that trigger? A hardened criminal or the family man who bought the gun to protect his home. (Psst, the second is you and you're not the right answer!)
Gun crime is far, far higher than ours. Yes, gun crime in the UK has increased in the last ten or so years, but it is nowhere near as bad as the States. (I don't have official statistics okay nerd boy?) Those reading this may think that we should give the Police guns...but let's flick back shall we genius? Just reapply the same logic shall we? If you give the police guns, the criminals will want them to be able to survive. As it stands, criminals only carry what they need...yes knife crime is a serious problem (especially in the Greater London area) but a lot more people die after getting shot than stabbed.
Another problem is school shootings. The most recent school shooting statistics are vastly different between our country and America. In America, the most recent being literally last month in Illinois. In the UK, there have been a total of two school shootings in the last 100 years. TWO. And by the way, one of them, in Bristol, nobody was killed.
It's part of the Constitution which is one of the reasons they stick to it so rigidly. Especially as it's part of the first ten. Yet, people were happy enough to prohibit alcohol with the eighteenth and then repeal it soon after with the twenty first. I'm not disagreeing with this choice, but it's the fact that certain amendments are either impractical or dated. I think the U.S Constitution is an example of something which is considered too sacred and needs to be re-examined...a bit like The Bible. Some of its bollocks now, so just revamp it yeah? I thought that was put eloquently enough.
2) Health Care
You'll have to pay more for lower quality health care, what the fuck?! Well, not strictly true. America pays more than us for their health care overall...and we actually provide a better quality service... why? Because everyone gets it dumb ass. That's the whole point. I would rather see everyone have the chance to just go in when they're sick and have the healthcare be free (sort of.) The only thing wrong with our system is that we put money in the wrong place...but America, you can learn from our mistakes! You can make a completely radical change and help everyone instead of having people help themselves.
Don't turn around and say "Some people don't deserve it." Wrong. I don't care if they're lazy or stupid or ugly or fat or an illegal/legal immigrant. In the words of Singer "A community that fails to protect its poor and sick, can no longer call itself a community." (That is not necessarily the exact quote, I can't find it online.) The point itself is clear. Regarding health care, you give it to anyone who lives within your nation. If you have a problem with their character, that's fine, but you go about helping them in different ways. You would not let anyone who had been shot (by a gun you legalised you sick bastards) die in the street? No, you wouldn't. So why prevent anyone from receiving health care? Or charging them a phenomenal amount for it.
Obama is already trying to do this...so this is addressed to all the pig-headed, rich, selfish and careless bastards who are standing in his way. In other words, almost every other American! In fairness to them, making this leap from one health care plan to another is not necessarily a good idea. You need to reform slowly, but people do need to open their minds. It's why I was against Obama in the first place. America, you're just not ready for such a radical guy... someone so far left which considering you had someone who was happy to blow up anyone who argued with him...it's a big change. But that's what you wanted, something completely different. You've got it and you're still not happy! No wonder the world stereotypes you as a stupid nation...You're not stupid, just naive.
3) Pro Choice (*)
Obama you need to decide on this one, federal or state laws? I say Federal regardless of the obvious backlash. Giving someone the choice, such as same-sex marriage seems to cause people to think they personally have to follow through. Uh...no? I don't care how you feel about God or the Bible or any prejudices you have. I'm talking to the South here. You call yourself land of the free? Start making it so. Home of the brave? Stop being so scared and offended by what you don't agree with! I have every right to marry whoever I want, fuck whoever I want and to some extent do whatever I want. In some instances, the government needs to back the fuck off and leave us to it.
Abortion is another big one. The problem here is that it's not a simple issue. Gay marriage, legal or illegal, simple. Abortion has so many factors that need to be examined. I'll give my opinion because I'm always right anyway, so listen up. Abortion is not a contraceptive. It's a last resort if you can't support the baby and don't want it. It's a tough choice and it should be done as soon as possible. If you can I would say that you put the baby up for adoption but this does cause more problems in the long run. It may sound harsh but a foetus that is killed knows nothing. A child may enquire "Why was I adopted?" The parent may ask "Can I see my child?" It causes complications for all people involved. It doesn't help that I have such strong views about our population. We need to start deciding if you really must bring the child into this world. I may be male, but I do love children and I'm great with them, but so many are being born to people who aren't ready to raise them and this is no help to anyone.
Regarding love, don't even think about making laws, just make it legal for any human to marry any human (okay, not children smart arse). Don't judge them and let people live their own lives. Abortion's a tough call, but choice is better than no freedom about it. Get it into your heads that you don't have to run around aborting babies left, right and centre. I suppose 20 weeks should be a long enough time to make an informed decision...that is over six months! Obama, just give people that freedom and ignore State rights...sometimes you need to do this to be able to call yourself a free country.
*N.B - This will never happen. As mentioned above, states have certain laws about marriages and abortion and it's always been the view that it is not the federal governments rights to choose. This works extremely well in some circumstances and is awful in others. As this is all idealistic, I don't think this makes the point any less valid.
4) Death Penalty
It was banned here after the infamous Craig and Bentley case, where Derek Bentley was hanged, despite having a mental retardation and was charged with saying some very ambiguous words when his 'friend' Christopher Craig pointed a gun at a policeman. Bentley called out 'Let him have it' and this was taken to mean shoot. The death penalty might be nice in theory, i.e. kill off those sick people who deserve to die and save taxpayers money, yet I would argue human life is worth more than any life.
Saving money doesn't work anyway, due to the appeal system. There are many people on Death Row in America, waiting to die and costing thousands of dollars despite being charged with death. If you want to have the death penalty, I don't think you can have appeals...they just contradict each other. If you are 100% sure that the man or woman is guilty, then 'Let them have it' (get it!). Don't pussy around with rights or freedoms.
That's the biggest argument against the death penalty...how convinced are you? Giving an innocent person the chair may be something you won't ever be able to live with. If you want a classic, if fictional example of this, see The Green Mile (though read the book first.) It's a brilliant commentary on the blatant flaws of the death penalty.
When you first hear of a horrific crime...for example a child molester, you immediately think kill the bastard! We have all the evidence, it was definitely them, 100%. Going to kill them off now? I wouldn't. Why? It's the prison they go to. An ironic code of honour exists in prisons, rapists and paedophiles are beaten up repeatedly by other inmates. You may consider this unjust, but I don't. If you take someone else's human rights, in any way, you forfeit your own. Killing them gives them the blissful release from guilt or pain. Let them really suffer while they're here, it would make you feel a lot better! Unless you're genuinely against 'eye for an eye' but I just think that makes you a wimp ;)
5) Scientology
Just ban it...right out now. It's a stupid, dumb ass religion. I don't give a damn about your freedom of religion. Don't waggle your first ammendment in my face, I will throw up on that part. If you knew anything you dumb fuck nation about your own laws, you'd know that any donation made to a religion is tax free. Who started Scientology? L.Ron Hubbard. A mediocre science fiction writer at best, who wanted a good way to make a lot of money fast and make sure it's tax free. You think you're being so noble as a nation by giving them such freedom. When in fact, you're being taken for a ride and they're laughing the whole way. Every other country has labelled the so-called 'religion' as a cult...so why can't you America? Stop being so hung up on pleasing everyone and take a stand on some things!
Germany's even gone so far as to basically banning it outright. Scientologis can hand out leaflets but that's all. Hell, they've even gone as far as to ban Tom Cruise films (as he's such a number one advocate of the cult). It's perhaps an example of taking it too far but it amuses me all the same. It's a cult and we know it. Some of the main defences for most religions is that they've been around thousands of years and they don't harm anyone. Scientology will take all your money and was made up in the fifties. That goes against both points right there. Please Obama, be logical and call it as you see it.
If you want further proof, here's the official definitions of a cult and why Scientology ticks all the boxes.
1) It uses psychological coercion to indoctrinate and retain members.
Let's face it, if they told you what they were taking your money for, you'd say "Pah! No way pal!" But they trick you with their lovely charms and promises...tut tut.
2) It forms an Elitist society.
All the members are actors or other famous people for the most part...so in a way, yes.
3) Founder leader is self-appointed, dogmatic, charismatic.
This perfectly describes L Ron Hubbard.
4) Follows a policy of “ends justify the means” for recruitment and raising funds.
Yup, they'll do anything to getcha!
Freedom of Religion is well and good, but a cult doesn't fall under that banner. Especially as Scientology has been known to bully members into staying and charges thousands of dollars for the spiritual rehabilitation. (Hence the celebrities signing up.) It's hardly something I want in my society and Europe agrees with me, so you should you America! Get to it.
I think I've said all I need to say. Sorry if this was too much at once, but I thought I should do it all in one post. Obama, when you read this, you'll know what to do. It won't make you popular but it'll make you right. If you need any moral support, you know where to find me... I expect the changes to be made within a week of this being read. P.S: Change the Presidency law. It's not 1776 okay pal? We need it to be changed pretty soon because I want to be the 45th President, got it buddy? Okay Barack, I'm all done here.
Now go away.
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