Now go aw- O I haven't started yet. So sorry. Today I will mainly discuss one thing. The title (which is a Blur song) makes it pretty obvious, unless you underwent a lobotomy recently. The thing is recently, a lot of people have turned eighteen. That's bloody brilliant for them but why do we have to share in their happiness? Let's face it, you have a big bash, you invite almost everyone, but how many of them actually give a damn? You think they posted "Happy Birthday!!!" on your wall because they remembered? Now, I realise how this sounds. I'm not cynical (well not completely), I think birthdays are great and fun...except when you're not that close with people. I don't really want to go to your party unless I actually know you. For me, the whole affair is stupidly awkward. I have to come, give you a weird sort of half-hug, and mutter "Happy Birthday..." Did I get you a present? Did I heck... People are just silly sometimes. Your birthday is a time to share between close friends. It's not a time to create an event on facebook and click "invite all."
Now, I know if I wanted to, I could have done the same. Booked out the same fucking room, and the same fucking DJ and got the same fucking decorations. But I didn't. If I had done, everyone would of come..."This event has 89 confirmed guests." That'd make me feel brilliant about myself, and that's exactly why we do it. It's so people can have the assurance people don't hate them so much they'll avoid their party. Out of those 89, who do you think gives a damn about me? I'd say maybe eight at most? And that's pushing it. That means there's 81 morons who have just come for the free ride.
The idea for this blog came up, because I'm going to a party tonight. Why? Because I'm a hypocrite. No, it's honestly because I get on quite well with the people hosting it, and I think it's fair to say I'd want them at my party. My point is that for tonight someone got invited when they weren't really wanted. I'm not going to drop names (not that it matters, about one person reads this blog, and that's me.) This one person got their friends to pressure so they could be invited. Now, last time I checked...it was the host's birthday, not yours. If you don't want to invite someone, don't invite them! It's not rocket science (an excellent film by the way.) Party's on this scale make you feel especially cut up if you're not invited. If everyone was honest and just did small gatherings with their real friends, we wouldn't have a problem at all!
For my 19th, I went to L'Artiste with just a few really good people. I hope everyone had a lovely time, I sure did, and it was just...good. No excessive drinking, no stupid chatter, no awkward stilted conversations with people you don't really get on with and certainly no absurd dancing. Now, I bet you're thinking "Yea, but this was his nineteenth, an eighteenth's a much bigger deal." Well fuck you, I just had people round for some music and food...that's all a party needs to be! We're already plunging on the express ride towards a society of materialistic values and no morals, halt the train on the party front ok pal? I bet almost all of you just thinks I'm a moody bastard who doesn't know how to have fun...it's not that, I just feel weird hanging around people I hardly talk to anyway. Also, at these parties your only option is to booze up or dance, talking is certainly not going to happen. A) You can't hear each other and B) They're too drunk to pay attention. Parties just need you to talk to people you care about, relax, dance a litte, enjoy the range of music and best of all..bring the host presents.
I think I've covered all the bases. To summarise, don't hold excessive parties for people who you don't care about, it's a waste of money and time. Make sure you just do something with close friends, it's worth ten times more to you in the long run. Finally, don't worry about offending those you don't want to invite, why is there this need to include everyone, even those you don't really like? And of course, don't forget, doing things my way gets your presents..small parties make people feel like absolute dicks for not buying you something. If this blog hasn't convinced you to change your party going ways...well I'm not really bothered. I write this blogs with passion and make it seem like I give a shit about the way people do things, but no...just carry on with the self-worship of party-throwing for all I care, just make sure I'm invited. I won't come.
On a happier note, (almost), Gorillaz are releasing a new album that I've pre-ordered. It should be amazing. And I also recommend you watch the show on BBC One 'The Bubble.' It's not a fantastic show, but the guests make it alright, and with David Mitchell as the host, you can't really go wrong. Here's an amusing clip that was shown in last week's episode...Brown's Bullying Antics.
Brown's Bullying Antics
I think I've said all I need to say,
Now go away.
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