The Bitter End

Look, I didn't think I'd actually do this...I'm against all of this "GOODBYE BEST BUDDIES, LEGENDS 03-10" etc, to be honest. I understand why you might miss certain people a real amount, but don't bullshit me and inform me that you loved all of the year group. We all bitch enough to fill up an order form for female dogs. That kind of works... Anyway, I thought, if I was going to do anything to signify the 'end of an era' I'd do a blog. It might not be touching, and in fact, almost of you who are reading this probably thought I was an unfashionable, smartarsed, arrogant dickish loser who if he mentioned America one more time, you'd smack him in the mouth. Well, I don't really give a damn because I like you all...most of you quite a bit, so now you can feel guilty can't you? The title is suitable and is one of my favourite Placebo songs...only beaten by 'I Know' and 'Running up that Hill' (which was originally a Kate Bush song, fact nerds.) The amount you've already learnt from me in this introduction. I should get a fucking medal. 


In all seriousness, I am going to miss certain people quite a bit. There are a couple who I know I will keep in touch with, and some who if I never see again, I'd be fine with too. Not going to mention names, I'm not a complete cock, but I'm sure you don't like me either, so who cares! I'm writing this, like all my blogs, completely off the top of my head (how well they're written, you wouldn't have thought it ;) ), but I like to give it some focus. So I thought I'd approach it by talking about all my classes (including my dropped English class) and mention my favourite memories. I already sound like a fag, so I'll end it off with a clichéd nod towards anyone who's really made this last two years worth it. It's already so fill of queer sentimental bullshit that the Westboro Baptist Church could blame this entire blog for the Iraq War! *


First up...Drama (Alphabetical order yeah?) 


Drama


Well, the year began with the entire class hating me. I basically opened my fat mouth at every opportunity to talk about my excursion to America. It didn't help that our teacher (no names here kids) was...in basic terms, a massive bitch (despite what Rosie may say, names for when I'm being positive I guess.) This teacher could make you cry, scream and want to punch Black people in the face. (That last one's not strictly true, but a bit of controversy never hurt anyone did it?) But, we made it through, and I have to be honest, our play was one of the funniest things I've ever done. It was GOD-AWFUL and we must NEVER speak of it again, except to each other, but we had a damn good laugh. Odd really, pretty sure it was a dramatic tradegy. Not that I was paying much attention. 


Then began the second year. I felt I'd actually truly bonded with people like Anton and Lizzie doing this play and it made me feel warm inside. (Everybody go AWWWW.) I began the year, much to people's delight, by developing an unhealthy bro-mance with our new teacher (at least I don't have a t-shirt of him.) Though, it wasn't as bad as the time when I won a drama game. I know you all think I'm a 'freak' or whatever, but I won damnit, and I did it with pride and I don't really give a damn of your opinion of me...and if I had done it for real, because I truly loved it, and you thought I was weird, it would make you a homophobe...all I can say is, I kissed a boy and I liked it LOL jk, I'm straight


My teacher sadly left at Christmas, but we our new teacher was grand and really made us push to do our final exam (which I thoroughly enjoyed, despite the subject content.) Now we're rapidly approaching the written exam, which is one of the most boring things I've ever done. But, I'm not too stressed, after all, it's drama, which is a piece of piss compared to business studies, right guys? ;) 


English


Boy, do I miss that class. We had a right laugh with our zany teacher and our other teacher was so inspiring it made Obama look like a monotoned loser. I genuinely learnt a lot (and thought I'd do much better in the exam) so I didn't want to drop it. But, I suppose in a way, I'm glad I did, history was more important to me, and I got an A in my re-take so I don't really mind. I hope you haven't all missed my presence too much ;) (Let's face it, I was the only one who volunteered to speak...)  Not much to say I'm afraid, I suppose I'm trying to block out some of it... ;) 


History


Of course this class was one of the best. Not only did we have some laughs with my weird obsession with my first teacher, I really enjoyed all the wacky antics some people got up to. Of course, because of this, I did terribly, but my fault right? The first year course was damn boring in my honest opinion, but at least we went out with a bang. The second year bought us absurdly hard coursework, none of us had RESEARCHED before! But, apparently it's what you do at Uni...HAVE FUN FOLKS. I enjoyed it at first, but by the end I truly could not give a flying fuck about Black Civil Rights. Call me a racist if you want, but I don't care. I'm meant to be doing American History and Politics at Uni, and right now, it seems a big chunk of it will be so dull to me I'll never do work and thus fail the course. Thanks coursework, thanks...


The Elizabeth stuff though is pretty cool...hope you're all revising hard like I am... NAHT! (Read that in Borat's accent, becomes about ten times funnier.) 


I'm not sure which class I've enjoyed more, it wouldn't be fair to say. Despite what your opinion on HIM is (you know who I mean) he's a fantastic teacher and truly engaging. Best of luck to you taking the exam.


And finally,


Philosophy and Ethics


A subject which I have found the hardest at times, but always the most interesting. I've learnt more facts, insights and thoughts from these last two years in this class than from any other. It has helped by two fantastic teachers and a really lovely class. I feel truly happy when I was with you guys, and I must say, our chats were the best. Where would you have been without my controversial statements or rants about creationists eh? I'm considerably more stressed about this year's exam than last years, purely due to the content. But, I'll manages somehow. But I will miss the talks, the giggles and one particular trip to a very lovely zoo...


Well there you have it, all four classes. Not given the attention they deserve, but each one had individual moments which cannot be documented. The only way they will be remembered is the imprint on each individual's memory...truly wonderful. I hope your last two years have been as fun as mine, not too stressful, and that you all do well on your exams. Regardless of my opinion on you, I don't want you to fail. (Not going to lie, mainly so you're not bums who anger me.) As long as none of you are more successful than me ;) 


Honestly, a few people need special mention. I might miss some names, but if you don't know that you're special to me, then I'm a terrible person for not letting you know. However, I like to think most people know when they matter to me.


Elliot  - One of my oldest friends. My fondest memories are just being with you at the pub, having a quiet drink, and talking about all manner of things. We never seem to run out of conversation do we? If any one deserved medicine, it was you. I know we'll remain firm friends, even if we don't always see each other. Despite your insistence that you're self-sufficient, Ill always be there. And don't forget, not many people would dump a bin on someone's head to defend you ;)  (A real highlight of my year.) 


Kester - Another great friend. We have had some serious laughs and we can always talk about anything, from the most mundane to the most serious. We've had arguments about really stupid things, but we'll be all right. I'm only worried I might not see you any more when you become a hot shot Lawyer. Our film nights are what made this year bearable...I can assure you. Rain check on The Breakfast Club and Fight Club yeah? 


Nikki - Another close friend. We've had some interesting moments...(Wait, you liked Thatcher's government?) but mostly it's been great. You seem to be the only one who finds me funny, and for that I am so grateful. We'll certainly keep in touch, Cambridge is only a stone's throw away. Our debates and discussion of ideas are what kept me sane. 

Dave – I think I’ve bought all my consoles off of you? Our friendship has essentially been based around me buying stuff you don’t want ;) I will miss the film nights and also…the greatest adventure is yet to come!  I am of course talking about Camp America. Thank you for being someone I can just hang with and laugh. Once again, another guy who deserved medicine more than most.

Alex L - Wow, what can I say...we really have had some ups and downs, but these last two years were made great because of you. I don't think I've always been as a good a friend as you were to me, and for that I'm sorry. I truly hope you can forgive my flaws...for (despite my raging arrogance, I have many.) The best of luck to you...and stay in touch. 

Matt W - You are someone who has never failed to make me happy with your hugs. We've always had insightful conversations, and although sometimes I think you can be a dogmatic bastard, so am I. We can share in our love for such things as Nietzsche, Velvet Underground and how wonderful socialism is ;) I will miss you, and whatever you do, make sure you pop round for a cuppa' some time :)  


Sam H - One of the friendliest people you will ever meet! It’s rather worrying how nice you are Sam, ;) I just know you will go far with such high ambitions…and I re-watched the episode of Never Mind the Buzzcocks with Stephen Fry. That is certainly you in 40 years ;). Hehe, nobody else will be able to make me chuckle and smile about such wonders from the solar eclipse to the wonders of the Human Centipede… I’ll need another Dr.Who fan to chat with if I lose you. :( 


Laura - A girl who I've sometimes not seen eye to eye with...especially over a certain someone. :D However, you're really lovely and caring to your friends which is one of the finest qualities you can have. You sometimes are too self-concious, and you needn't be. I've never met anyone as fashionable (they don't just make anyone the fasion editor!) I wish you the best of luck! 


Daryl - A person who I certainly have argued with the most! But I'd like to think we've both matured and I consider you a very good friend. You can be highly amusing (especially when drunk) and you have many talents you should be proud of. I don't think I ever asked what you're doing at University, but whatever it is, I hope you are happy. 


Kiran - Mr Birang, you never fail to make me smile. You're a stupidly good dancer, and despite the short attention span, a really lovely guy. I know you'll always be hugely popular, and you are the epitome who lives life as a fun joy ride. I could give you a lecture about responsibility or some other crap like that...but you're going out with a bang for sure!


I'm done...I hope you enjoyed reading this...though really it was personal to me. I hope some of you could relate to the moments I might have shared, and not been to offended if you were missed off of the special people list. All in all, I can truly say I'm so glad to have encountered such people. I could not capture all the moments that meant a lot to me, but one day I hope to tell other people who matter to me about these times. Although you may have found this blog to be full of the sentimental crap I usually despise, I hope you appreciate what I have tried to achieve. And, at the end of the day, it's my blog so I'll write whatever the fuck I want. :)  


This is the part where I will share one thing...I did not like all of you, that is obvious, and many of you did not like me. But I hope that life can give a lot of you what you want and that when you think of me, or anyone else, you think fondly of these last years at school... I suppose all I ever wanted, which this blog has hopefully shown you, is some appreciation for who I am as a person. Not the coolest, or the most attractive, or the best-dressed. But I am a person who tried hard to make you feel good about yourself...and was smart enough to know when to keep quiet...and wanted my opinions to be accepted. I certainly think I was in the running for funniest person, and I'm not going to lie, your ideas of what is funny is vastly wrong. Perhaps you hated me, perhaps you were indifferent, perhaps I was a 'legend' (unlikely) but regardless, we've had some good times and now, I mean this in the politest way possible,


Go away, to Uni ;) 


*For those uniformed, the Westboro Baptist Church are against homosexuals and believe by allowing them to live God has punished us by causing the Iraq War. And you thought I was a wacky guy...


** This is the nicest blog I have ever written, savour it yeah? 

Murder on the Dance Floor

I just know I'm going to have a hard time naming this blog... Damn me for attempting to write a decent blog about a decent book...next time I'll just give myself the easy task of finding a song related to retards, and write about YOU! Sorry, I said last week this would be a pleasant blog. You're not a retard, you're a lovely human specimen...honest! So yes, as promised, this week's blog is about the book Carrie by Stephen King. This blog is almost a double whammy. It allows me to do something a bit different, and review a book (in a positive way, what a rare gem!) and also allows me to talk about Mr. King, who is easily one of my favourite authors. 


The first thing I should talk about is Stephen King as an author. I can then move on to the book review later, as I have more to say. I'm afraid this blog won't be a laugh a minute like my other blogs ;) but I'll try to amuse you where I can. Stephen King is an author who generally writes for the horror genre. His books are masterful in their suspenseful nature, character development and prose. He is often considered one of the greatest horror authors of all time, and many of his books have been successfully adapted into films. In some cases, I have even preferred the film! I have read a lot of his books, more so than any other author, and some really good titles (which you should try at least) are:


Cell (this was one my parents bought me, and the first one I read.)
The Shining (Probably King's most famous novel, mainly down to the Kubrick film adaptation.) 
Misery (This is one of my favourites, despite not getting around to seeing the film version with Kathy Bates and James Caan, who also played Sonny Corleone in the Godfather and was the Dad in Elf, for all you film nerds...just me? Thought so.) 
The Green Mile (Just beats Misery for top spot. It is a truly wonderful examination at the cruelty behind the Death Penalty and how first appearances and ideas may be false. The film was actually more moving for me, and because of it (and the superb cast) I preferred it to the book. I recommend you read the book first, then catch the film.) 


I put those in the order in which I had read them, because I'm a nerd. The final being Carrie which I finished just in time for this blog. How good am I? I have revision I'm meant to be doing, and I choose to take time out to read a novel and then write about it, JUST FOR YOU. No gratitude from you! When I fail, you can suck my cock out of pity. 


The only thing I must warn about King, like all authors really, is to not read too much at once. His books are great, some of my favourites, I've read all of them twice (except Carrie), but they can be a bit...similar. He writes a lot of horror and sometimes you feel he should branch out a bit. Here's an amusing scene from Family Guy that sums up exactly what I mean. O, you've got to be fucking kidding me...


I can't find the video, youtube are cocks and have one version...in Italian. 


O well, I'm not that bothered about making the point I wanted to make, moving on....


Carrie is amongst the great King novels (who am I kidding, they're all great!) I adamantly refuse to give any of the plot away, you should try it for yourself. However, I can talk about the various themes in the book and the style in which is written. 


The first theme is the idea of loneliness and rejection by society. I'm not entirely sure if that can be classed as a theme, but hell, I'm not an English teacher. The first chapter immediately grabs you with a sadness and you feel sorry for this girl Carrie as she is introduced. You want to hug this girl, she is your typical loner. People have bullied her all of her life and she is an outcast. I know I can't help this girl, but I want to do, I really do. There is one moment in the story that literally brought me to tears as King opened a window to emotions and the words she spoke. This isn't a huge spoiler, but she is asked to the prom by the most popular boy in school, and her exchange with the boy is one of the most touching things I have ever read, and made me appreciate King as an author even more. So I cried, makes me a pussy? So what, fuck you! Sorry! Pleasant...


The main reason for Carrie being such an outcast is her upbringing, something which King is trying to highlight as a bad thing. She is raised by her mother in an incredibly religious household. I don't mean just Church everyday, I mean, talking of Sin, extreme views about how the world works, one example is that only sinners grow breasts, which are nicknamed 'dirty pillows' (just plain odd) and serious judgement for those who sin. King brilliantly provides great scope and commentary on a world of indoctrinated religion and extreme views. It is clear from how the story progresses and the way it is written that King clearly is against it. He is showing us a belief system which isn't thought of too much now, as Religion has become far less extreme in a lot of the Western world. Although Carrie was written almost forty years ago, the message about how excluding your child from normal activity can cause her to become an outcast rings just as true. If you're ever a parent, don't be a cock yeah? To put it simplistically...


The other idea that is toyed with is one of fantasy. I'm not going to go into detail, just read the book? However, I will say that once again, King won my respect. He dealt with something which could easily have been an absurd part of the book which ruined it...but no, it was dealt with masterfully so and the book reaches a fantastic conclusion. There's not a whole lot more to say on this matter! If what I've written so far doesn't convince you to try the book, you're a moron. I'm tired of being pleasant, I was nice enough for what, four paragraphs? Being lovely this long almost makes me want to hurl over some puppies and then kick them over a fence, watching their puke covered bodies fly a good fifty feet. And they call me a sick bastard, dunno why...


I don't have any good videos for you today I'm afraid. The one video I needed was gone, so fuck that. Look, for me, as I put the effort to write this piece of shit you call a blog, read Carrie, I'm sure you'll enjoy it. And if you're too lazy, go on watch the film, it got made into one as well. It's good too (so I hear, haven't got round to watching it.)  Whatever you choose to do, just go do it and stop reading now! O, the title came last. It was my mate Elliot's fantastic suggestion, and if you read the novel, you'll see why. I also quite like Sophie Ellis Bextor...damn him for being so intelligent!


You can leave now, but I'm not going to tell you to go away...pleasant blog remember? LOL jk, can't let the tradition die! (see what I did there?) 


Now go away. 

My Generation

"I belong to the blank generation...I can take it or leave it each time." These are the lyrics to the song I COULD have used, but didn't, I used a really obvious song title by The Who, sue me. Fascinating. Yes, I am talking this about the generation gap I feel almost all of the time. I'm not saying this generation is BAD, I'm simply saying it's a bit shit. The music isn't particularly impressive, the television shows are bloody awful for the most part and don't even get me started on films! I can talk about all of that later on, but I do know that I feel very distant. I normally just frustrate people because I inadvertently insult them by scoffing at them when they say they love Pendulum's new song, or I'll say "WHAT?" when they claim the new Fast and Furious film (and there WILL be a new one) is "SICK MAN." It's not sick, it MADE me sick, but it's not 'sick' in the good sense. I also realised recently that I'm just a poor man's Charlie Brooker...so next week will not be a ranting blog. I plan to finish reading the fantastic novel Carrie by Stephen King. I will then comment on my enjoyment of it (as I have read most of it so far) and do a nice happy book review. If you don't like this sudden change in pleasantries...you know what you can do? Fuck off.


Firstly, the music. God it's bland. It's all "Spankin' ma bitch" this and "Pull my hair rude boy" that. I don't object to misogynistic music, I just don't prefer it to say the musings of Damon Albarn and Gorillaz (who by the way, to be a hypocritical twat, are this generation.) I do really really love N.W.A, but that's because they were original! And they were nineties, and hip, and funky and amusing. I mean, just listen to this song by them, off of 'N.W.A and the Posse'


N.W.A - Fat Girl


I mean, honestly, what's not funny about the lyrics "More chins than a Chinese phonebook!" Seriously, it's being offensive but it's meant in jest and it's done with style. Nowadays people sing about one of three things, 1) Which girl they'd like to bang and why, 2) How much they love a girl they want to bang (though they don't explicitly state that they want to bang her), or 3) How much they want to party (and in turn, bang a girl.) 


Can't you absolute morons sing about anything else? The worst thing is, no songs are ever original any more! I always think "How have SO many songs been made? It's amazing, all those different melodies, beats and lyrics." But it's got to the inevitable point. To make music, people are just so stupid they use other people's work and make something really shit.


Classic examples include, 


Jason Derulo - Whatcha Say (Original song sample, Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek) This example is actually quite catchy. 


Lil' Wayne - Some shit, but he used, and ruined The Verve's - Bitter Sweet Symphony.


Some other wanker ruined MGMT - Kids (Which wasn't that great, more annoying, but I have to say that because it came out in the last five years, and therefore is part of my generation ;). )  


The worst thing is, they usually use songs that have been made quite recently! At least use songs that nobody's heard of, so they won't think "HEY WAIT A MINUTE!" 


I realise that's only 3 examples, but I'm not going to do research, you get the point dick face. 


Even songs which are still shit, yet seemingly original turn out to not be. Take M.I.A with Paper Planes. Yep, the whole melody is just the intro to a Clash song. Well done there, raise a hand for originality. Then cut it off and eat it you copying bastard. 


Look the real problem with music is like with Skins which I discussed a couple of weeks back. People want to emulate it.  With the kind of topics they sing about now a days, NOT a good idea. Dizzee Rascal's Bonkers was meant to be satirical...but people want to "wake up to go back to sleep" How is that possibly a GOOD thing? I can't even express my problems with that one lyric. 


On to television...
Look I'll admit that a lot of television is GOOD quality. But this generation certainly dumbs it down for the average viewer. There's so much wrong with a lot of television, I don't even know where to begin. I suppose my problem is the news...all those shitty little bits where they ask the general public their opinion. I don't give a toss about their opinion, it's mundane, unnecessary and wastes my life. Thanks BBC News, if I die because of this, I'm sure you can report it and have people saying really pointless stuff, about how sad it was that I died. (Because everyone will say the same, they don't want to seem like tossers.) IRONY huh? A lot of people probably don't think that's a very good example, I'm pretty sure they've always done the ask the public bit...well...look. I don't like soaps, I don't like shit like Hollyoaks, I especially hate 90210. It's all the same route, materialistic bollocks that makes you feel that you're insignificant. 


And films....all I have to say is, I watch a lot of films, I learn about them, I know a lot of actors, directors and some soundtrack people. I'm a complete film nerd which is why films like Transformers 2 offend me so much. The first one was a vomit of noise combined with a twattish kid wanking over Megan Fox. Why would you want that again?! Apart from the Megan Fox bit...though, in all honesty, she's a bit too obviously hot. You have to be me to understand why that's a problem. Basically, most films are the dumbed down shit that's been made before. Why did you need to remake Nightmare on Elm Street? Only the first was worth laughing at, years later, when the special effects were so outdated, your nan thought they were silly. 


Look, the point I've been trying to make all along is, despite incoherently, is this. Music, film and television and all else connected with what we call this generation isn't terrible...I just feel we could do a bit better? I don't know if humans are getting more stupid, but it seems like it. I think we've made things too easy. It's easy to get a record deal if you're mediocre...just go on any of the numerous talent shows and have them suck your balls. Even if you don't win, someone will offer you a contract. 


Or, to be a actor, just talk in a real cockney accent and BAM! 


You're the new slut who will come and steal Marty away from Charlene and the whole of Albert Square will bang down your doors to get the baby back to give it to child services who are portrayed at being incompetent fools, when they're just trying to help, and you and Charlene will have a fight in the middle of the Square while some onlookers try to break it up, but don't try too hard because they want to see some action. *


*Plausible Eastender's storyline. 


The final point I need to make is, whatever it is that makes this generation so shit, sort it out. For my benefit and yours. Or just be like me, and complain about things pointlessly until your hair falls out and you die of some inane illness like constipation. Our generation has some good things too, I recognise that. Yet, it seems our greatest achievements in the last ten years have been Lady Gaga, the I-Pod Touch (which was shortly ruined with the ludicrous I-Pad) and ME. Just kidding, but keep up the good and push out the bad. We can do better than this guys...in fact, go on, go work on it now, be a better society for me.


Seriously, go away. 

Electioneering

Hello you beautiful bastards of this great nation. I mean all of that sentence sarcastically. Your not beautiful, your ugly. Go on, look in the mirror...eurgh what the fuck is that? Is that meant to be your face? You disgust me. I once did a massive poo in the toilet that smelled and looked better than you. Fuck off and die. 


Now I've completely destroyed your confidence, the next bit of news won't seem so bad. It looks like, despite not winning a majority, Cameron will be our next Prime Minister...and this is why our nation is not great, we fucked up big in the election. GOOD JOB TEAM, we elected in a slimy toss pot. I was going to write about the election last night, and other things political, but even as an interested individual I'm bored so bloody hell you will be! Also, anything I do say won't be that funny or original and I might even cock up analysing what might happen now we've got a hung parliament. All I can say is wait and see folks! It is exciting none the less, last hung Parliament was in 1974, so we're living through a big part of history!


One thing I will say is, I hope you bloody voted...if you didn't don't talk to me ever again please, because basically I don't respect you as a person. Unless you were jogging...
Or you were in a massive queue because the incompetent government didn't sort things out properly... well done there. I am, of course, talking about the controversy with closing the ballots on people who hadn't voted yet had been there since about 9pm, way within the time frame. Look, I don't know what's going to happen, and my opinion on it is divided and I'm too tired to talk about it, maybe some other time (probably never) so for now watch this lovely video about voting. 


This video right here sums up why you should vote, from someone I recently discovered (sort of, too long to explain) Craig Ferguson. He puts it far better than I can, so just watch him yeah? Just a heads up, it's about the election in America...but the points near the end are always valid. BIT LATE NOW THOUGH, but perhaps next time you'll take that hand off your cock and bother signing a bit of paper you twat. I say that because all women are intelligent enough to have definitely voted. That compliment should be enough to get me laid!


If you don't vote, you're a moron


That's all I need to say out the way. If you want any more...how about you check the BBC website you moron. You think I'm going to give you hard facts and good opinions? Hell no. I assumed a hung parliament meant getting male porn stars to run things. Ok, next on the agenda of things to cover is May Ball. It's tonight, I might have fun, it might be shit, the food will be good. I could do a blog tomorrow about it, but essentially I have a strict regime of a Friday only blog and also, I don't care enough. It's a fucking dance, I'm not going to write about that! By the way, I'm not a cynical bastard (well, not completely) I'm as excited as the rest of you, and hope you have a lovely time. 


Last week I said I'd cover MTV Teen Cribs. Now, I can tell your all about to explode with delight at the prospect of my sharp wit ripping this show to shreds. Look, I'll be honest, I don't want to write about it. I thought, when first seeing it, "Oh boy, I can't wait to shit all over this rubbish" as I rubbed my hands together in glee. 


However, I only saw twenty minutes of one episode...and to properly slate the show, I'd need to see a whole lot more. That means I'd have to go through the physical pain of watching that show and might have to gouge my eyes to take away the scaring on my visual sense. And if I did that, all my future blogs would not exist. So I'm not going to write about some jumped up twat who feels the need to show us around their materialistic kingdom of self-worship which is as bad as seeing them kissing themselves all over and moaning "I am so amazing." 


The houses are giant, you envy these people for their lush lifestyles. Reality check, people are dying of poverty and shit (I'm so coherent) so stop giving these bastards air time and start caring yeah? O...and what the fuck is with the blatant scripted dialogue? Are you so wrapped up in your possessions that you forgot how to hold a decent conversation? To quote Fight Club "What you own ends up owning you." Congratulations, you signed your soul to show off what, essentially, is a waste of money. Big fucking deal if you have a cinema, if everyone had that, nobody would use actual cinemas, so people would lose jobs and films would lose their opportunities to be promoted. Nice one you selfish fuckers. MAN, I did not think I could write so much. All of that was off the top of my head, so sorry if it's so incoherent. Just makes me bloody mad is all :) 


Look, I didn't really have a focus for this week's blog. I wrote all the stuff that needed to be said, and as the MTV idea is gone, I didn't have a real idea. I'm saving the Pursuit of Happyness (spelt wrong for a reason) and the one about 'being alone' for some other time, when people aren't so depressed. I was throwing around ideas today, and was thinking of doing one on how shit some kids tv is, yet we have fond memories from childhood, but I've sort of already done that and it would have just been weird to admit I used to watch, and find problems with the following :


- Bernard's Watch (Why was the narration just absurd? Why did he never do bad things, though this was solved because of the postman, who represented Bernard's morality or some shit, like Jiminy Cricket.) 


- The Tweenies (Why were they all the same height? Why did Jake sounding like a baby make him one year younger? Why was Bella never slapped for being a bitch?  Why did I fancy Judy, the Scottish carer?)


- Brum (Why did he always seem never to be really going anywhere and instead would pick up random strangers? Why was nobody shocked by a car driving itself?)


- Come Outside (Why did she always go to see how something was made that she could have just bought? Why did she fly in a plane? Fucking show off. Auntie Mabel is the sole reason for carbon emissions and global warming.) 


- Balamory (Why did they not have a consistent class? Why was Edie McCredie never arrested? Despite that bus being BLATANTLY similar to the child-catchers wagon in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Why did Archie the inventor live in a Castle, inventors don't make money, just look at Dragon's Den!) 


The very fact I used to watch those shows should be amusing enough to you. 


I've written enough, and for those who keep up, the song title is a Radiohead (covered by Easy Star All Stars, who you should check out) about elections in general (see what I did there). There is not enough songs about Prom or MTV Teen Cribs funnily enough. I need to go get ready for tonight's gala. Shouldn't you be getting ready too? Though, what's the point...you're too ugly, nothing can be done for you...in fact, your so ugly you should do something.


Go away.