Apathy can be an awful thing. I like to debate ideas, argue, discuss and muse as much as the next person, We need to care about certain issues! If we didn't care people would just become ravaging murderers and rapists, guaranteed. Can you imagine? "A 16 year old girl was raped by a horrible scumbag, ...we go over to the courts now, where John Bompkin is there to hear the verdict, John?" "Hello Sue, yes it was the oddest occurence, the judge heard all the evidence, the jury believed the man was guilty and the judge shrugged and said "Shit happens." It would be awful! This isn't satire, or my sick attempt at humour, I'm making a point. We need to care because otherwise awful things would continue to happen.
However, over the past...hmm, day? Just kidding, maybe a couple of months, I've stopped caring about the little and medium things. I've adopted a new philosophy, if it doesn't directly affect me then I will happily shrug my shoulders and say 'shit happens'. Scratch that, that sounds awful! What I mean is, the stuff that's really not worth getting angry about. I used to get really angry about creationists and those who didn't believe in evolution. Shocker, me being angry didn't change anything. It just got me stressed and made me look crazy, ranting away. I also really hate Jedward. God damn them. I still am amazed their allowed to be on television, even if it is to be horribly mocked (See the Buzzcocks episode with them). However, shouting abuse about them loudly in a pub won't stop bloody morons around this planet practically crying for glee when they appear in a television advert. What did make me laugh though was Jack Dee said 'It's good to see Jedward haven't sold out yet...' Literally a week later they were in that obnoxious DS advert. Bloody hell.
The reason I think we need to sometimes be apathetic and just not care. We need to stop getting so worked up, sure care to the extent that you don't look hearltess but stop worrying! Stress can be bad for you, note my earlier blog 'Under Pressure'. Something's happened recently that has got people very stressed. I am of course talking about the removal of the cap on student fees. The government need money so they want people to pay more for Uni so they don't have to pay out as much themselves. After Clegg's biggest promise to cut student fees, having the exact opposite happen has made people very angry and so they decided to riot about it!
Firstly, are you at all surprised? I bet some of you voted Cameron too..uh, duh...he likes the rich? He won't give you free education. Also, Clegg is a hypocrite, big deal! The riot two days ago was not the way forward. I suppose it's a bit like the extremist Muslims affair. We can't lump all students in the same bag but fucking hell, that is not the way to make your voice heard. Destroying government property isn't going to make them listen to you. It doesn't make you look intimidating, you just look like a dumb shit bag who is clearly too retarded to go to Uni anyway. Especially as, if you used your brain you'd have worked out it was property that they'll use tax payers money to pay for. Less money for University tuitions, well done you.
It's about setting the right impression. To get their respect don't act how the big bad politicians view you. Act like a cultured, intelligent youth who just wants the Scrooges to see you can't afford the fees. I know this is bloody hard for you to appear intelligent. Once more, to quote the words of Orson Welles (not that you would know who he is) "They teach anything in universities today. You can major in mud pies." It's ridiculous.
I know you probably think I couldn't give a shit about student fees because what I plan to do doesn't see me at Uni for sometime. Wrong. I think it's stupid they're doing it but I'm not getting irate. Why? Because I'm not going? No, because I couldn't afford Uni anyway, and they're going to do what they want regardless. I did my bit, I voted Lib Dem, it didn't work out, o well. I didn't even vote Clegg for that reason, I liked their policy on scrapping our nuclear defence programme. I'm not remotely surprised they've not cut student fees.
Want to get angry about stuff? Fine, go ahead, tire yourself out. Don't go around getting wound up about stuff you can't fix. Remember what I said about being positive? Boo hoo, you might have to pay some more fees. At least you've got arms and legs and a brain and food and a house and parents who love you. Well, I have, don't know about you. At work I hear so much bullshit complaining about things and I naturally do it too, but if I catch myself I try not too. It's not worth it, take it on the chin and man up pussy.
O, next time you vote, ask "Where is my Mind?" ;) and use reason to work out that the politicians are probably lying. The Pixies knew it (it's their song in the title.) So keep your head and don't look so shocked when they lie. O, and certainly don't get so angry when things happen that you can do nothing about. Care by all means, state your opinion, but do not get so angry and stressed! Cool it, you're only hurting yourself, nobody really cares why you're so upset. I certainly don't.
Now go away.
Friday, 12 November 2010
Friday, 5 November 2010
Armagideon Time
I might as well call this blog "Bloody America" or "Land of the Retarded" rather than 2010, Here We Go... With this blog, it will be the third of blogs that are so against America. Last week's criticised their stupid ways of life that we seem to love and worse of all take on too, and 'America Fu*k Yeah!' spoke of five things I'd change, some more serious than others! However, this week has to be another one against this country across the pond! The only reason though is the timing, as they've just held the mid-term elections and they've pissed me off yet again by giving so much vocal support to the Tea Party which I'll be complaining about today! If you don't know who they are, you soon will ;) Remember when I loved America so much? I used to talk about it all the time...man, what a crap country. I could use my Rooney joke again but it wasn't funny, i.e. suddenly changing my mind! In fairness, I still want to visit it and see a lot of it and I do miss the people and my time there greatly and it does do some things really well. However, today will be one other thing they do wrong, kind of a major one too!
So yes, those not remotely interested in politics might as well go away now! For those who are interested but uninformed, America had an election for the Senate and the House of Representatives which together form the Congress. Basically, when a law or act is proposed it's proposed by the Senate. The Senate is made up of 100 people, 2 Senators from each state. After the law is looked over etc, it goes up to the House of Representatives, which is made up of seats that, as far as I understand it are 'won' when you win a State when running for President. Each state is worth a number of seats, and even though Bush won less states in 2004, he won more seats and therefore won the election. That's basically how it works...I think :D
The law or act or whatever goes to the House of Representatives, they look it over and then it goes back and fourth! When it finally goes through to the President decides to veto it or pass it. HOWEVER, if he vetoes it and then the House of Representatives over rules that by a 3/4 majority, the law or act will go through. Still following? By that reckoning, if the President doesn't have his party in the majority in the House of Representatives, it will be quite hard for them to stop a law or act or vice versa, have it passed. The mid term elections were to decide the majority of the House of Representatives and elect any new Senators.
After that long winded, but necessary explanation, this is wherein the problem lies. Obama's president, I really hope those reading are aware of that much. He's a Democrat. The Tea Party are extreme Republicans, uh oh! The Senate wasn't a problem as there aren't many people stepping down. However, Obama feared losing his support in the House of Representatives. America's biggest problem right now is that they are under the moronic impression that Obama hasn't done much, and what he has done isn't very good. If you share this dumbass view, please visit this website...
http://whatthefuckhasobamadonesofar.com/?ref=nf
Recently, because of Obama's 'failings', this has led to a surge of support for the right wing, most of which is because of stupidity and the wrong idea of how things should be done. Obama's biggest change was to the health care plan. In America, they don't like people having health! No, that's just me being a dick about it. The Americans have, since Regan, believed this horrible idea that people should be independent and get things themselves. Health care is a privilege, if you can afford it, you deserve it. I'm sure if you told it this way to any middle class American they'd choke on their roast beef and spit out their champagne. They believe they're in the right to have this independent thought, it's all tied in with their bullshit 'dream', if you work hard enough you will achieve anything.
Well, wake up America. This is a lovely idea, in the same way Santa is. Not everyone can do this because of the rich and poor divide. The middle class white man in America can do very well for himself, the people who live in the inner city and are essentially stuck in a rut are the ethnic minorities. Now...this isn't to suggest America's purposely racist, it's just how it is. When Andrew Neil, who recently did a programme on the Tea Party, suggested this, the man actually wept...it was pathetic. Let me just explain it in a wider context. It's like poverty in Africa. However hard they work, or what they do, they'll always be in abject poverty no matter how much money we pour in. The money needs to be spent properly...and this ties in nicely with the way things are done here.
The American's don't like the NHS (which is our health care system, which Obama basically wants to adopt) because they don't want to pay for their 'lazy' neighbour. Well here's wherein the issue lies. Your fellow man, Mr. American, can't afford health care. Although I agree the government in America shouldn't be involved in certain aspects of life, purely because the country is too diverse, health and education are two key areas we should all give money too if we can. I would much rather live in a country where money is used effectively and the rich pay for the poor than to see people suffer just because they couldn't get a basic job, which was probably down to poor education ;)
Now, this is all idealistic but at least we sort of have it here. Yes I know there are bums out there who scam the system and those who laze about but they are, despite what the Daily Mail claims, in the minority. I would much rather get angry at the rich. Why do you need so much money? If I ran the country, which I would but to quote Orson Welles, 'Only very intelligent people don't wish they were in politics, and I'm dumb enough to want to be in there.' But if I ever lose some brain cells, here's what I'd do. I'd scrap private health and education. It's a psychological thing. People think they pay more to get a better service. While this may be true, if there was only one which everyone contributed to then it would, theoretically, get better.
One of the big reasons the rich don't like to pay tax is because they don't use the government services, what if they had to? People don't need the kind of money they have....I'm not suggesting fully fleged communism but I certainly think more money should go to teachers and school funds and obviously people's health. If you live in a country, and you are a legal citizen, you have just as much right to free health and education as anybody. Perhaps people think this is too fair, that some don't deserve it. Well I say they do, be they Black, Asian, homosexual, Muslim, Christian, Jewish, South African ;).
To sum up, America needs to learn a thing or two about basic morals. If we don't begin to look after our fellow man regarding their basic rights, health and education, it will indeed be Armagideon Time. It's a song by The Clash again. It won't actually be that bad but I guarantee America, if you continue to support these right wing nuts who...just a year ago you mocked and scorned, you will be fucked. Get some decency and sort it out yeah? Despite my agreement that America is too vast, don't think that means you should rule yourselves, because we're not ever going to be at that stage. Mankind is too greedy, arrogant, selfish...Hell, I wouldn't trust me to rule myself. I'd just masturbate all day, including when I was in the dole line getting my money for literally being a wanker. Hope that was enough food for thought,
Now go away.
So yes, those not remotely interested in politics might as well go away now! For those who are interested but uninformed, America had an election for the Senate and the House of Representatives which together form the Congress. Basically, when a law or act is proposed it's proposed by the Senate. The Senate is made up of 100 people, 2 Senators from each state. After the law is looked over etc, it goes up to the House of Representatives, which is made up of seats that, as far as I understand it are 'won' when you win a State when running for President. Each state is worth a number of seats, and even though Bush won less states in 2004, he won more seats and therefore won the election. That's basically how it works...I think :D
The law or act or whatever goes to the House of Representatives, they look it over and then it goes back and fourth! When it finally goes through to the President decides to veto it or pass it. HOWEVER, if he vetoes it and then the House of Representatives over rules that by a 3/4 majority, the law or act will go through. Still following? By that reckoning, if the President doesn't have his party in the majority in the House of Representatives, it will be quite hard for them to stop a law or act or vice versa, have it passed. The mid term elections were to decide the majority of the House of Representatives and elect any new Senators.
After that long winded, but necessary explanation, this is wherein the problem lies. Obama's president, I really hope those reading are aware of that much. He's a Democrat. The Tea Party are extreme Republicans, uh oh! The Senate wasn't a problem as there aren't many people stepping down. However, Obama feared losing his support in the House of Representatives. America's biggest problem right now is that they are under the moronic impression that Obama hasn't done much, and what he has done isn't very good. If you share this dumbass view, please visit this website...
http://whatthefuckhasobamadonesofar.com/?ref=nf
Recently, because of Obama's 'failings', this has led to a surge of support for the right wing, most of which is because of stupidity and the wrong idea of how things should be done. Obama's biggest change was to the health care plan. In America, they don't like people having health! No, that's just me being a dick about it. The Americans have, since Regan, believed this horrible idea that people should be independent and get things themselves. Health care is a privilege, if you can afford it, you deserve it. I'm sure if you told it this way to any middle class American they'd choke on their roast beef and spit out their champagne. They believe they're in the right to have this independent thought, it's all tied in with their bullshit 'dream', if you work hard enough you will achieve anything.
Well, wake up America. This is a lovely idea, in the same way Santa is. Not everyone can do this because of the rich and poor divide. The middle class white man in America can do very well for himself, the people who live in the inner city and are essentially stuck in a rut are the ethnic minorities. Now...this isn't to suggest America's purposely racist, it's just how it is. When Andrew Neil, who recently did a programme on the Tea Party, suggested this, the man actually wept...it was pathetic. Let me just explain it in a wider context. It's like poverty in Africa. However hard they work, or what they do, they'll always be in abject poverty no matter how much money we pour in. The money needs to be spent properly...and this ties in nicely with the way things are done here.
The American's don't like the NHS (which is our health care system, which Obama basically wants to adopt) because they don't want to pay for their 'lazy' neighbour. Well here's wherein the issue lies. Your fellow man, Mr. American, can't afford health care. Although I agree the government in America shouldn't be involved in certain aspects of life, purely because the country is too diverse, health and education are two key areas we should all give money too if we can. I would much rather live in a country where money is used effectively and the rich pay for the poor than to see people suffer just because they couldn't get a basic job, which was probably down to poor education ;)
Now, this is all idealistic but at least we sort of have it here. Yes I know there are bums out there who scam the system and those who laze about but they are, despite what the Daily Mail claims, in the minority. I would much rather get angry at the rich. Why do you need so much money? If I ran the country, which I would but to quote Orson Welles, 'Only very intelligent people don't wish they were in politics, and I'm dumb enough to want to be in there.' But if I ever lose some brain cells, here's what I'd do. I'd scrap private health and education. It's a psychological thing. People think they pay more to get a better service. While this may be true, if there was only one which everyone contributed to then it would, theoretically, get better.
One of the big reasons the rich don't like to pay tax is because they don't use the government services, what if they had to? People don't need the kind of money they have....I'm not suggesting fully fleged communism but I certainly think more money should go to teachers and school funds and obviously people's health. If you live in a country, and you are a legal citizen, you have just as much right to free health and education as anybody. Perhaps people think this is too fair, that some don't deserve it. Well I say they do, be they Black, Asian, homosexual, Muslim, Christian, Jewish, South African ;).
To sum up, America needs to learn a thing or two about basic morals. If we don't begin to look after our fellow man regarding their basic rights, health and education, it will indeed be Armagideon Time. It's a song by The Clash again. It won't actually be that bad but I guarantee America, if you continue to support these right wing nuts who...just a year ago you mocked and scorned, you will be fucked. Get some decency and sort it out yeah? Despite my agreement that America is too vast, don't think that means you should rule yourselves, because we're not ever going to be at that stage. Mankind is too greedy, arrogant, selfish...Hell, I wouldn't trust me to rule myself. I'd just masturbate all day, including when I was in the dole line getting my money for literally being a wanker. Hope that was enough food for thought,
Now go away.
Friday, 29 October 2010
America is not the World
Ready for a couple of shocks? I bloody hate Halloween and I'm really starting to resent America! I had a fantastic time when I lived out there, however, over the time since being back I realised one thing. I stayed and saw an educated, beautiful, friendly and accepting part of America. However, a large part of it is bigoted, racist, uneducated and ugly. Well, not a large part...but enough that I think to myself that America is not as great as it thinks and when it does something stupid...it's on too grand a scale not to think, fucking hell what a shit country. Now all I've done is complain about the States, so what was the need to mention Halloween? It relates to today's topic of discussion you brilliant people! Also, Halloween is two days away so it's quite relevant.
Yes, I really hate Halloween. I think it's a stupid, over-hyped time of year that doesn't deserve the attention it gets. How does it relate to today's blog though? It's American and something we've taken on board and I wanted to cover a couple of other pretty fucking stupid things we've 'adopted' from America. Why would we? We want to be them of course! However much people say 'they're stupid' or they hate that they invade countries, we still want America's silly ideas. We idolise the traits that we define them by...god we're morons. Do we take in their culture or great thinkers? No...we accept a shitty time of year and sell a load of merchandise and crap costumes just so little shits can beg at your door for sweets that will blow up their tiny, moronic brains. After that rant, are you ready for the top 5 hated adoptions from the good ol' US of A? I know I am, so I'll begin, try to keep up.
1) Fast Food
Now, I'll admit I do quite like certain fast food at certain times. However, I don't think anyone can argue it's a good thing for us. I realise I have said repeatedly that how you look isn't important, but it's certainly caused a lot of fat people to spring up. That's all fine and dandy but the lazy want convenience. If fast food didn't exist then the fat would have to make an effort to get food and as it takes an effort, chances are it'll be better for them! If you have to cook a proper meal you think "Well I'll make it great then!" If you can get it cheap and easy, you'll love it (just how I love my women).
Not only do these places promote easy and cheap access to food that's bad for us as a nation, they're also pretty damn unethical! You don't know how they make their food, nor what they do to the poor animals before hand...it's a disgrace. Once again, I'm being a hypocrite because I do love a Big Mac or a quarter pounder with cheese. Yet, if we hadn't them in the first place this country might be doing a little better...not on a grand scale, but at least around their waist line! We also wouldn't have those stupid adverts with an even dumber tagline. I'm not loving it, I quite like it but I need more self-control! That's not really a good argument against them but hey, I think we can agree they're America's fault!
2) Proms
You know how I hate the superficial! If you don't by now, I jolly well think they're disgusting. You judge someone on their looks, you deserve to have a pipe smashed into your face so much that you become as unattractive as the people you so harshly criticise. Proms are one thing that has become quite popular in schools, and is so superficial it makes me throw up on any attractive people in the vicinity. Twice.
It's that god damn pressure. You have to find a date or you're apparently 'not good enough'. You are ostracised by your peers just for not wanting to force yourself to find a date. Sure, you can go with a friend or friends but the same harsh treatment applies. I mean, who's going to dance with you during the slow songs? Yup, you have to sit awkwardly by yourself or go and eat the McDonald's food they've laid out for you. That's right, you're the shy fat kid who nobody dances with because they think they're better than you. Honestly, it's only that they are better looking but when it comes to their stupid brains they've been shrunk with all the colouring they used in their ridiculous hair.
That's another thing! People always say how great everyone looks. I'll admit, it makes you feel better if you look good...but why are we having a get together when looking good is so important? Can't we just go out, sit around with people you care about and all look pleasantly average. Think about it, how many people do you actually give a shit about who went to your school prom? 5, 6? Maybe I just have no friends, but I think it's a fake, superficial event that nobody needed. Why did we take it on? Because it looked great in Saved by the Bell. Well done us. This brings me nicely on to number 3...
3) Television
Our television is great. Fact. We've had brilliant comedy, some of the best news coverage, the greatest dramas, fantastic sport coverage (bar ITV) and who can forget our advertisements ;) Honestly, without a shadow of a doubt our television, particularly comedy, far surpasses anything the American's have. Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Black Adder, The original Office, Extras, Peep Show. All comedies that the Americans didn't really get. Our sense of humour is so superior, I'd argue theirs is a little immature. Yet, because our country doesn't appreciate good television, we've imported wave and wave of American shows.
Now, I'll gladly say that there is a couple of exceptions. HBO seems to do a lot of good television shows, but we really do import the worst of the worst. MTV is the biggest culprit I've briefly complained about it in the past. Shows such as My Super Sweet 16 or MTV Teen Cribs. Spoilt fuckers prancing around in their designer clothing and then going down to the massive basement to roll in some money before driving (even though they're only 16) their new Hummer to pick up some friends and talk about something mundane like how hot Justin Bieber is, or how great that they can have a party where two hundred people can come but they'll still insist people they don't like are publicly humiliated on television. PHEW, got carried away there. The point remains, it's gaudy and obnoxious, yet some of these rubbish shows get more viewing figures than some of the great shows.
I'll give you a quick example. Roger and Val have just got In was a clever, small comedy about a couple, portrayed by two great actors, Dawn French and Alfred Molina. It built up, starting with the smallest of things the couple bickered about and ended with a fantastic climax. I guarantee more people watched the fucking Hills or 90210 (which isn't even a good title) than this brilliant piece. I can't even begin to coherently express how disgraceful both the mentioned shows are. Simply, they're awful and should be banned to save our nation from a future of mind boggling stupidity and people who prioritise popularity, money and looks over what really matters. Fucking MTV. Still don't believe me? http://americaisretarded.com/
4) Speech
The television invasion has also lead to another problem. People don't talk properly. More and more teenagers are adopting that frustrating inflection in their tone. They raise the sentence at the end so everything sounds like a question! It may sound like a dumb thing to complain about, but listen to it long enough and it will cause you physical pain. Why? You'll grind your teeth so hard and you'll break your fist punching their jaw in. I don't have much to say on this except it doesn't surprise me why America love our accents so much. We talk so much better... No wonder we're perceived as so smart ;) If you know someone who talks in this way, give them a fork in the eye from me okay?
5) Halloween
We can't forget the one that got this whole thing started can we? Halloween is terrible. I don't mind if someone wants to celebrate it on a small scale in their own time, but don't take it to the streets! Trick or treating is probably one of the worst things we've taken from America. It's a lot worse because of the trick part. This country can embarrass me sometimes, what with such stupidity as the English Defence League (racist cunts if you aren't aware), and the tricks people pull of year after year.
My mother doesn't agree with the concept of it, she sees it as begging. It is, and we don't even do it properly. It wouldn't be too bad if little kids did it with their parents and nobody did it past the age of about 10. What is the country made up of? Teenage yobs. We got told a story in about year five about some teenagers whose idea of a 'trick' was to kick an old lady's cat to death because she didn't have any sweets for them. Yup, makes me real proud to be English! Tricks are taken too far and some people are just plain rude in the way they demand your food.
On another note, if we are planning to rob the idea, at least imitate it properly. In America, if you turn your light out it means you want to be left alone and people respect this. Why can't we do the same? If I didn't answer my door this Halloween, I will wake up with the house covered in eggs, toilet paper and some poo on the front mat. It's a joke...and a very unfunny one at that! Can't we just forget this stupid tradition and just watch a horror film and eat some toffee apples and shut up? It's not as if any of this is real...god we really are thick sometimes.
In credit to it, America isn't all bad! Of course not. As I've pointed out in my last choice, we do our own fair share of stupid things. I think America isn't wholly to blame, we've chosen to take these ideas on. Shame they don't take on ours *cough* NHS. Despite all they do that is good, we seem to just adopt the bad. I have a theory... we take the stupid ideas from America, so when people like me (i.e. geniuses) complain, the majority (i.e. morons) can say "Well, look how crap America is! Blah, blah, we're so amazing!" If that's the way we do things, I want no part in that plan! That said, America still far too much wrong and they are certainly not the world (as said by Morrissey) despite them thinking they are. How about this Halloween you don't do as they do and maybe it'll burst their massive ego...if only a little.
Now go away.
Yes, I really hate Halloween. I think it's a stupid, over-hyped time of year that doesn't deserve the attention it gets. How does it relate to today's blog though? It's American and something we've taken on board and I wanted to cover a couple of other pretty fucking stupid things we've 'adopted' from America. Why would we? We want to be them of course! However much people say 'they're stupid' or they hate that they invade countries, we still want America's silly ideas. We idolise the traits that we define them by...god we're morons. Do we take in their culture or great thinkers? No...we accept a shitty time of year and sell a load of merchandise and crap costumes just so little shits can beg at your door for sweets that will blow up their tiny, moronic brains. After that rant, are you ready for the top 5 hated adoptions from the good ol' US of A? I know I am, so I'll begin, try to keep up.
1) Fast Food
Now, I'll admit I do quite like certain fast food at certain times. However, I don't think anyone can argue it's a good thing for us. I realise I have said repeatedly that how you look isn't important, but it's certainly caused a lot of fat people to spring up. That's all fine and dandy but the lazy want convenience. If fast food didn't exist then the fat would have to make an effort to get food and as it takes an effort, chances are it'll be better for them! If you have to cook a proper meal you think "Well I'll make it great then!" If you can get it cheap and easy, you'll love it (just how I love my women).
Not only do these places promote easy and cheap access to food that's bad for us as a nation, they're also pretty damn unethical! You don't know how they make their food, nor what they do to the poor animals before hand...it's a disgrace. Once again, I'm being a hypocrite because I do love a Big Mac or a quarter pounder with cheese. Yet, if we hadn't them in the first place this country might be doing a little better...not on a grand scale, but at least around their waist line! We also wouldn't have those stupid adverts with an even dumber tagline. I'm not loving it, I quite like it but I need more self-control! That's not really a good argument against them but hey, I think we can agree they're America's fault!
2) Proms
You know how I hate the superficial! If you don't by now, I jolly well think they're disgusting. You judge someone on their looks, you deserve to have a pipe smashed into your face so much that you become as unattractive as the people you so harshly criticise. Proms are one thing that has become quite popular in schools, and is so superficial it makes me throw up on any attractive people in the vicinity. Twice.
It's that god damn pressure. You have to find a date or you're apparently 'not good enough'. You are ostracised by your peers just for not wanting to force yourself to find a date. Sure, you can go with a friend or friends but the same harsh treatment applies. I mean, who's going to dance with you during the slow songs? Yup, you have to sit awkwardly by yourself or go and eat the McDonald's food they've laid out for you. That's right, you're the shy fat kid who nobody dances with because they think they're better than you. Honestly, it's only that they are better looking but when it comes to their stupid brains they've been shrunk with all the colouring they used in their ridiculous hair.
That's another thing! People always say how great everyone looks. I'll admit, it makes you feel better if you look good...but why are we having a get together when looking good is so important? Can't we just go out, sit around with people you care about and all look pleasantly average. Think about it, how many people do you actually give a shit about who went to your school prom? 5, 6? Maybe I just have no friends, but I think it's a fake, superficial event that nobody needed. Why did we take it on? Because it looked great in Saved by the Bell. Well done us. This brings me nicely on to number 3...
3) Television
Our television is great. Fact. We've had brilliant comedy, some of the best news coverage, the greatest dramas, fantastic sport coverage (bar ITV) and who can forget our advertisements ;) Honestly, without a shadow of a doubt our television, particularly comedy, far surpasses anything the American's have. Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Black Adder, The original Office, Extras, Peep Show. All comedies that the Americans didn't really get. Our sense of humour is so superior, I'd argue theirs is a little immature. Yet, because our country doesn't appreciate good television, we've imported wave and wave of American shows.
Now, I'll gladly say that there is a couple of exceptions. HBO seems to do a lot of good television shows, but we really do import the worst of the worst. MTV is the biggest culprit I've briefly complained about it in the past. Shows such as My Super Sweet 16 or MTV Teen Cribs. Spoilt fuckers prancing around in their designer clothing and then going down to the massive basement to roll in some money before driving (even though they're only 16) their new Hummer to pick up some friends and talk about something mundane like how hot Justin Bieber is, or how great that they can have a party where two hundred people can come but they'll still insist people they don't like are publicly humiliated on television. PHEW, got carried away there. The point remains, it's gaudy and obnoxious, yet some of these rubbish shows get more viewing figures than some of the great shows.
I'll give you a quick example. Roger and Val have just got In was a clever, small comedy about a couple, portrayed by two great actors, Dawn French and Alfred Molina. It built up, starting with the smallest of things the couple bickered about and ended with a fantastic climax. I guarantee more people watched the fucking Hills or 90210 (which isn't even a good title) than this brilliant piece. I can't even begin to coherently express how disgraceful both the mentioned shows are. Simply, they're awful and should be banned to save our nation from a future of mind boggling stupidity and people who prioritise popularity, money and looks over what really matters. Fucking MTV. Still don't believe me? http://americaisretarded.com/
4) Speech
The television invasion has also lead to another problem. People don't talk properly. More and more teenagers are adopting that frustrating inflection in their tone. They raise the sentence at the end so everything sounds like a question! It may sound like a dumb thing to complain about, but listen to it long enough and it will cause you physical pain. Why? You'll grind your teeth so hard and you'll break your fist punching their jaw in. I don't have much to say on this except it doesn't surprise me why America love our accents so much. We talk so much better... No wonder we're perceived as so smart ;) If you know someone who talks in this way, give them a fork in the eye from me okay?
5) Halloween
We can't forget the one that got this whole thing started can we? Halloween is terrible. I don't mind if someone wants to celebrate it on a small scale in their own time, but don't take it to the streets! Trick or treating is probably one of the worst things we've taken from America. It's a lot worse because of the trick part. This country can embarrass me sometimes, what with such stupidity as the English Defence League (racist cunts if you aren't aware), and the tricks people pull of year after year.
My mother doesn't agree with the concept of it, she sees it as begging. It is, and we don't even do it properly. It wouldn't be too bad if little kids did it with their parents and nobody did it past the age of about 10. What is the country made up of? Teenage yobs. We got told a story in about year five about some teenagers whose idea of a 'trick' was to kick an old lady's cat to death because she didn't have any sweets for them. Yup, makes me real proud to be English! Tricks are taken too far and some people are just plain rude in the way they demand your food.
On another note, if we are planning to rob the idea, at least imitate it properly. In America, if you turn your light out it means you want to be left alone and people respect this. Why can't we do the same? If I didn't answer my door this Halloween, I will wake up with the house covered in eggs, toilet paper and some poo on the front mat. It's a joke...and a very unfunny one at that! Can't we just forget this stupid tradition and just watch a horror film and eat some toffee apples and shut up? It's not as if any of this is real...god we really are thick sometimes.
In credit to it, America isn't all bad! Of course not. As I've pointed out in my last choice, we do our own fair share of stupid things. I think America isn't wholly to blame, we've chosen to take these ideas on. Shame they don't take on ours *cough* NHS. Despite all they do that is good, we seem to just adopt the bad. I have a theory... we take the stupid ideas from America, so when people like me (i.e. geniuses) complain, the majority (i.e. morons) can say "Well, look how crap America is! Blah, blah, we're so amazing!" If that's the way we do things, I want no part in that plan! That said, America still far too much wrong and they are certainly not the world (as said by Morrissey) despite them thinking they are. How about this Halloween you don't do as they do and maybe it'll burst their massive ego...if only a little.
Now go away.
Friday, 22 October 2010
No One Knows my Plan
So I was going to do about the budget and all the cuts and my thoughts on them. However, that would just make me more angry than usual (if that were possible) and also I've not enjoyed the past few days because of various news and experiences. But hey! Fuck the feeling of melancholy though! I'm going to be positive! I'm going to talk about something in my life but it's something that can apply to everyone.
I've learnt that things don't always go according to plan. This may seem obvious, but it's a pretty good reason why I've never subscribed to a traditional view of God. If he has a plan, then why is life so messed up sometime? When my Uncle got cancer or when someone is put into a coma...don't tell me it was part of anyone's plan you fuck. *Breathe*. You get the idea. Life is random, and I don't think that needs to be a bad thing. I think we need to do what we can with what we have!
What has bought this sudden love for the unplanned on? A change in my plans actually. I didn't know what to do with myself after A-Levels. I'm working and I do voluntary work and I'm directing a play, but that's my immediate future. I want to work towards a brighter day, where I have a family and a good job I enjoy. I don't want lots of money, I just want to be remembered as funny, intelligent and kind. Luckily I'm all three ;) I used to want to live in America...not any more! I think it's a great country with lovely people but some of its interior policies and certain ways of life are just wrong. Obama has the right idea, but it's too impractical right now!
What I want is to take a risk. I want to live in the States for an indefinite period. I am going to America for a programme called Camp America. I'll pick up some fantastic skills there. I also get travel time which I'll use to make contacts. I'll return, save some money then get a one-way ticket to live in America for an indefinite period and just explore the places and see the people. As far I understand it, I believe that I can get a visa if I get a job (or apply for one.) I'm hoping the skills I get this year will help me when I arrive. Sell phones, write for a local paper or help direct a school play! Who knows? The world is my oyster and I plan to take each and every pearl. That analogy doesn't really work, but it sounded cool. I'll use the travel time I get with Camp America to hit the north (where most of my friends are) and then when I return...America watch out! I'll travel all round the different places, some unknown, some famous for their sites. I want to just see where the road and jobs take me...hell, one minute I'll be working for Mcdonalds, the next I could be writing an article about why Obama is great, and America needs to wake up! I'll meet new people, and join rallies or arrange town fairs. I'll be a man who comes and goes...but while he was there it was memorable! I'll definitely write about my experiences in excruciating detail!
When I've finished, whenever that may be, I'll return...do a degree and teach here, in a country with a bloody National Health Service and no gun law! Sure, England's not all great, but for the most part I'm proud to be British. We have a superior accent, sense of humour and we aren't as extreme when it comes to invading countries...just ;)
Why am I telling you this? I know I said blogs weren't going to be about me, but I did a Rooney. I said one thing and did something else ;) I also say fuck the tradition! Gordon Ramsay (not the best person to quote, but hey) said that "Young teens should stop being so traditional, step outside their comfort zone and live their lives while they can." When have I been one for conformity? I want to experience the unknown now...because its thrilling, it's outside of my comfort zone...and hey, I don't think I can lose. I'll have a fantastic time, I've got the personality to make it very far. I'm approaching this in the best frame of mind!
I can then get my degree when I return...yes I'll join you sheep in doing the norm...so what if I go to Uni slightly late? I won't be like you, who thinks this is the way life's supposed to be...and being surprised when you don't know where to go next. Do what you can...but what you want (within reason!) I'm going to enjoy this part of my life and when I'm ready, be a damn good teacher and enjoy that too. I'll be arrogant here, living life like I plan to looks far better than people who haven't really experienced life. Uni is just one more institution. Live a little more...free, outside of the secure. Hell, I'm starting to sound like a god damn hippie, so I'll shut up. I'll leave you with a song. But as a last point, life is about the unknown and nobody knows how my plan will work out (the title being a song by They Might be Giants, (a band you definitely should check out) but it's better than your safety shit!
I love the Unknown
Now go away.
I've learnt that things don't always go according to plan. This may seem obvious, but it's a pretty good reason why I've never subscribed to a traditional view of God. If he has a plan, then why is life so messed up sometime? When my Uncle got cancer or when someone is put into a coma...don't tell me it was part of anyone's plan you fuck. *Breathe*. You get the idea. Life is random, and I don't think that needs to be a bad thing. I think we need to do what we can with what we have!
What has bought this sudden love for the unplanned on? A change in my plans actually. I didn't know what to do with myself after A-Levels. I'm working and I do voluntary work and I'm directing a play, but that's my immediate future. I want to work towards a brighter day, where I have a family and a good job I enjoy. I don't want lots of money, I just want to be remembered as funny, intelligent and kind. Luckily I'm all three ;) I used to want to live in America...not any more! I think it's a great country with lovely people but some of its interior policies and certain ways of life are just wrong. Obama has the right idea, but it's too impractical right now!
What I want is to take a risk. I want to live in the States for an indefinite period. I am going to America for a programme called Camp America. I'll pick up some fantastic skills there. I also get travel time which I'll use to make contacts. I'll return, save some money then get a one-way ticket to live in America for an indefinite period and just explore the places and see the people. As far I understand it, I believe that I can get a visa if I get a job (or apply for one.) I'm hoping the skills I get this year will help me when I arrive. Sell phones, write for a local paper or help direct a school play! Who knows? The world is my oyster and I plan to take each and every pearl. That analogy doesn't really work, but it sounded cool. I'll use the travel time I get with Camp America to hit the north (where most of my friends are) and then when I return...America watch out! I'll travel all round the different places, some unknown, some famous for their sites. I want to just see where the road and jobs take me...hell, one minute I'll be working for Mcdonalds, the next I could be writing an article about why Obama is great, and America needs to wake up! I'll meet new people, and join rallies or arrange town fairs. I'll be a man who comes and goes...but while he was there it was memorable! I'll definitely write about my experiences in excruciating detail!
When I've finished, whenever that may be, I'll return...do a degree and teach here, in a country with a bloody National Health Service and no gun law! Sure, England's not all great, but for the most part I'm proud to be British. We have a superior accent, sense of humour and we aren't as extreme when it comes to invading countries...just ;)
Why am I telling you this? I know I said blogs weren't going to be about me, but I did a Rooney. I said one thing and did something else ;) I also say fuck the tradition! Gordon Ramsay (not the best person to quote, but hey) said that "Young teens should stop being so traditional, step outside their comfort zone and live their lives while they can." When have I been one for conformity? I want to experience the unknown now...because its thrilling, it's outside of my comfort zone...and hey, I don't think I can lose. I'll have a fantastic time, I've got the personality to make it very far. I'm approaching this in the best frame of mind!
I can then get my degree when I return...yes I'll join you sheep in doing the norm...so what if I go to Uni slightly late? I won't be like you, who thinks this is the way life's supposed to be...and being surprised when you don't know where to go next. Do what you can...but what you want (within reason!) I'm going to enjoy this part of my life and when I'm ready, be a damn good teacher and enjoy that too. I'll be arrogant here, living life like I plan to looks far better than people who haven't really experienced life. Uni is just one more institution. Live a little more...free, outside of the secure. Hell, I'm starting to sound like a god damn hippie, so I'll shut up. I'll leave you with a song. But as a last point, life is about the unknown and nobody knows how my plan will work out (the title being a song by They Might be Giants, (a band you definitely should check out) but it's better than your safety shit!
I love the Unknown
Now go away.
Friday, 15 October 2010
Respect
I suppose I should do a blog on something important, or a nice angry rant. My recent blogs have been too self...obsessed, or self involved? This was always something I wanted to avoid. I don't care about people's lives, i.e. how great that concert was they went to, or why they love this band. In fairness, I have done a couple like this and also I do care...but I would ask you. I wouldn't go to your blog! I believe that removes the connection you feel when you learn something new about a person who you care about. I haven't had many great ideas as of late. It's crazy I know for a genius like me to be stuck...but I guess all the best writers get writer's block once in a while ;)
I think I'll talk about women's rights today. Yes, women are lovely aren't they guys? I mean, we'll never understand them, but they're what we want around and we'd be useless without them. I genuinely mean this. I think men would be rubbish without women. I don't think we've done a very good job at running things, we always get involved in silly wars and other such violent matters. A woman would just have said "Look, Adolf...take a seat and I'll fetch you a nice cup of tea and we'll talk about all this...yes I know you're annoyed you didn't get into Art School, but is world domination really the answer?!" Of course, this wouldn't have worked, because he was a mad, power crazed bastard...but yes, it might have stopped things getting so out of hand.
I think we need to re-examine society's outlook on women. I think that we've focused so much on making sure blacks and other minorities are given equality, we've forgotten the people that make up roughly half this planet's population! It's taken an age for women to reach a basic level of equal share with men. Hell, it was only thirty or so years ago that the first equal pay act came into effect. Margaret Thatcher as prime minister didn't help either. I'm not saying she had to be the one to push for women rights, but I certainly know she was seen as 'proof' that women had made it. A woman, in the most powerful position in England?! Hardly a woman though ;) Also, ol' Maggie held the traditional school of thought that women should be in the home, doing the housework and looking after children. How dare she!
I don't really like when people joke about homosexuals, or minorities and it's got to the point where I've realised jokes about women aren't funny either. It's a basic form of 'humour' if you can call it that. Yet, it's still socially acceptable! In any school, a joke about a woman in a kitchen or being a bad driver will make people laugh...but if I were to say that 'blacks are dirty little cheaters', I would be met with a cold silence and some staring. Why should women be the subject of bad jokes? They're just as great as everyone else. I'll say this once again, a person shouldn't be judged by anything other than the content of their character. Even then, perhaps we should try to understand why they hold these views...even if we disagree with them. Actually, I'm far too opinionated, scratch the latter. If you disagree, tell them to shut the fuck up ;).
Another thing that leads me on to. Women are just as equal in their rights to fuck whoever they want, how often they want. It doesn't make them sluts, or slags or whores, it makes them just like all those guys you deem 'cool' because of how many chicks they've 'banged'. The only thing that makes a man, or a woman a slut is if they talk about it. Sex is a private thing, how often you do it...it shouldn't change that. You should know my views on sex by now, but I just wanted to make that clear. If you plan to use such a derogatory term such as 'slut' around me, then justify it!
Women do some things wrong, they can complain too much ;) and what's with the obsession with kids?! Perhaps you think I'm being odd defending them so valiantly like this. However, give it some thought. We go around making sure we're 'politically correct' about everything from homosexuals (not as much as I'd like), blacks, Jews, Asians, Indians, the Polish etc. We make sure so often we don't offend people, yet we seem to have forgotten that half the planet is made up by someone we have no problem insulting or making jokes about that it must have taken a real moron to find them funny, that includes you asshole. I'm not a huge fan of political correctness, I don't think it matters terribly if you offend someone, but regarding social equality...women aren't even close and we've left them behind because we've given too much attention to other areas of civil rights. That's really great and all, but let's not forget, civil rights cover all civilians, not just the minorities. Let's not be silly and forget the majority yeah? In the words of the great Aretha Franklin, Respect is all they really want...so give it to them, you misogynistic prick.
Now go away.
I think I'll talk about women's rights today. Yes, women are lovely aren't they guys? I mean, we'll never understand them, but they're what we want around and we'd be useless without them. I genuinely mean this. I think men would be rubbish without women. I don't think we've done a very good job at running things, we always get involved in silly wars and other such violent matters. A woman would just have said "Look, Adolf...take a seat and I'll fetch you a nice cup of tea and we'll talk about all this...yes I know you're annoyed you didn't get into Art School, but is world domination really the answer?!" Of course, this wouldn't have worked, because he was a mad, power crazed bastard...but yes, it might have stopped things getting so out of hand.
I think we need to re-examine society's outlook on women. I think that we've focused so much on making sure blacks and other minorities are given equality, we've forgotten the people that make up roughly half this planet's population! It's taken an age for women to reach a basic level of equal share with men. Hell, it was only thirty or so years ago that the first equal pay act came into effect. Margaret Thatcher as prime minister didn't help either. I'm not saying she had to be the one to push for women rights, but I certainly know she was seen as 'proof' that women had made it. A woman, in the most powerful position in England?! Hardly a woman though ;) Also, ol' Maggie held the traditional school of thought that women should be in the home, doing the housework and looking after children. How dare she!
I don't really like when people joke about homosexuals, or minorities and it's got to the point where I've realised jokes about women aren't funny either. It's a basic form of 'humour' if you can call it that. Yet, it's still socially acceptable! In any school, a joke about a woman in a kitchen or being a bad driver will make people laugh...but if I were to say that 'blacks are dirty little cheaters', I would be met with a cold silence and some staring. Why should women be the subject of bad jokes? They're just as great as everyone else. I'll say this once again, a person shouldn't be judged by anything other than the content of their character. Even then, perhaps we should try to understand why they hold these views...even if we disagree with them. Actually, I'm far too opinionated, scratch the latter. If you disagree, tell them to shut the fuck up ;).
Another thing that leads me on to. Women are just as equal in their rights to fuck whoever they want, how often they want. It doesn't make them sluts, or slags or whores, it makes them just like all those guys you deem 'cool' because of how many chicks they've 'banged'. The only thing that makes a man, or a woman a slut is if they talk about it. Sex is a private thing, how often you do it...it shouldn't change that. You should know my views on sex by now, but I just wanted to make that clear. If you plan to use such a derogatory term such as 'slut' around me, then justify it!
Women do some things wrong, they can complain too much ;) and what's with the obsession with kids?! Perhaps you think I'm being odd defending them so valiantly like this. However, give it some thought. We go around making sure we're 'politically correct' about everything from homosexuals (not as much as I'd like), blacks, Jews, Asians, Indians, the Polish etc. We make sure so often we don't offend people, yet we seem to have forgotten that half the planet is made up by someone we have no problem insulting or making jokes about that it must have taken a real moron to find them funny, that includes you asshole. I'm not a huge fan of political correctness, I don't think it matters terribly if you offend someone, but regarding social equality...women aren't even close and we've left them behind because we've given too much attention to other areas of civil rights. That's really great and all, but let's not forget, civil rights cover all civilians, not just the minorities. Let's not be silly and forget the majority yeah? In the words of the great Aretha Franklin, Respect is all they really want...so give it to them, you misogynistic prick.
Now go away.
Friday, 8 October 2010
I Have Forgiven Jesus
Stop complaining RIGHT now. I can see you, your mouth moving up and down with a bile of bloody whines leaving it. Well how about you think about 'the big picture.' I want to share a video with you first so maybe you'll begin to understand why your life isn't that bad, and even if it IS, why you still need to be positive. Meet Nick Vujicic...
No Arms, No Legs
Watched it? Good. I love how I can tell you to watch something, and you so blithely trust me. One day, I might slip in some porn or some excessive violence, just for a bit of a giggle. However, now I've said that, you'll never watch my videos again. Damn it! Anyway, back to the point at hand. No pun intended, you twisted people. That man is easily one of the happiest people I've met, despite all the problems he faces. I realise that he may have been raised in good conditions, or by good parents, so he is in some way lucky. However, he still has faced many difficult challenges, society pitying him, activities he can't partake in, patronised by his peers. It all happens, but he's really made something of himself! What he says at the end is equally inspiring...it's really shocking how many people think their worth nothing.
I myself have been suffering a bout of depression recently, due to various things at home, my job and my unforeseeable future. I'm not denying it's hard to motivate yourself...but you should reflect on the good things. I know I'm intelligent, despite how others perceive me. I recently did stand up comedy successfully and will do again, thus confirming I am somewhat funny. I have a wonderful family who care and worry about me. Do you know how many parents don't care? Watch The Breakfast Club for an excellent film about kids who feel alienated from their parents. I don't think not achieving is depressing, the motivating yourself and then making something of yourself is what makes life exciting...
I understand some people may think I'm being insensitive to some people's situation. Those who are in such abject poverty, they can never get out. Perhaps those who are in such an abusive relationship, be it boyfriend, family or friends that they feel no escape. There are people like that and we should lead the way in helping them. How? Hell, I'm not the answer man, I just talk a lot of crap! In all seriousness, I understand that, but for those of you like me...realise how much good there is in your life. Remember sometimes that the world isn't full of bad people...that there is good in the world. I would like to share a story with you.
It was 1988, and Mary Andersen was at the Miami airport checking in for a long flight to Norway to be with her husband when the airline representative informed her that she wouldn't be able to check her luggage without paying a 100 surcharge... When it was finally Mary’s turn, she got the message that would crush her bubbling feeling of happiness. You’ll have to pay a 103 dollar surcharge if you want to bring both those suitcases to Norway, the man behind the counter said. Mary had no money. Her new husband had travelled ahead of her to Norway, and she had no one else to call. "I was completely desperate and tried to think which of my things I could manage without. But I had already made such a careful selection of my most prized possessions" said Mary. As tears streamed down her face, she heard a "gentle and friendly voice" behind her saying, "That's okay, I'll pay for her."
No Arms, No Legs
Watched it? Good. I love how I can tell you to watch something, and you so blithely trust me. One day, I might slip in some porn or some excessive violence, just for a bit of a giggle. However, now I've said that, you'll never watch my videos again. Damn it! Anyway, back to the point at hand. No pun intended, you twisted people. That man is easily one of the happiest people I've met, despite all the problems he faces. I realise that he may have been raised in good conditions, or by good parents, so he is in some way lucky. However, he still has faced many difficult challenges, society pitying him, activities he can't partake in, patronised by his peers. It all happens, but he's really made something of himself! What he says at the end is equally inspiring...it's really shocking how many people think their worth nothing.
I myself have been suffering a bout of depression recently, due to various things at home, my job and my unforeseeable future. I'm not denying it's hard to motivate yourself...but you should reflect on the good things. I know I'm intelligent, despite how others perceive me. I recently did stand up comedy successfully and will do again, thus confirming I am somewhat funny. I have a wonderful family who care and worry about me. Do you know how many parents don't care? Watch The Breakfast Club for an excellent film about kids who feel alienated from their parents. I don't think not achieving is depressing, the motivating yourself and then making something of yourself is what makes life exciting...
I understand some people may think I'm being insensitive to some people's situation. Those who are in such abject poverty, they can never get out. Perhaps those who are in such an abusive relationship, be it boyfriend, family or friends that they feel no escape. There are people like that and we should lead the way in helping them. How? Hell, I'm not the answer man, I just talk a lot of crap! In all seriousness, I understand that, but for those of you like me...realise how much good there is in your life. Remember sometimes that the world isn't full of bad people...that there is good in the world. I would like to share a story with you.
It was 1988, and Mary Andersen was at the Miami airport checking in for a long flight to Norway to be with her husband when the airline representative informed her that she wouldn't be able to check her luggage without paying a 100 surcharge... When it was finally Mary’s turn, she got the message that would crush her bubbling feeling of happiness. You’ll have to pay a 103 dollar surcharge if you want to bring both those suitcases to Norway, the man behind the counter said. Mary had no money. Her new husband had travelled ahead of her to Norway, and she had no one else to call. "I was completely desperate and tried to think which of my things I could manage without. But I had already made such a careful selection of my most prized possessions" said Mary. As tears streamed down her face, she heard a "gentle and friendly voice" behind her saying, "That's okay, I'll pay for her."
That man was actually Obama, who later received a letter of thanks and a photo of the happy couple on their wedding day. He didn't have to cover for her, but he chose to because he knew she needed the money desperately. He wasn't even involved in politics then, this was twenty years ago. Sometimes, the good in people shines, and when there's so much shit going on around you, it's good to know that it still exists.
I'd like to quickly use this as an opportunity to make a statement on Mr. Obama. Previously, for those who know me, I have criticised Obama. I am not a hypocrite, as I criticised the fact that America was in love with a man that they would resent when he bought in his radical, European and liberal ideas. The national health care, the end of Guantanamo bay and an attempt to end the Iraq war (which some Americans still support.) Due to American's history and political ideology, I knew he would never be popular apart from those with sense... and I'm afraid to say I was right. Many have blamed Obama and criticised his recent decisions... deicisions I was all for but knew would never work in the United States.
Anyway, I don't want to sound like a clichéd book or a badly written film. Just be happy for life, be happy there are good people and yes, complain sometimes, it's nature, but try to persevere...there's always a good person around the corner who can say "That's okay, I'll listen." (See what I did there?). Perhaps you think I'm being weird, or unrealistic or stupid but hey, I'm trying to be positive. It doesn't hurt to make people feel good about themselves, and it doesn't hurt to feel good about yourself either... I'm going to try and keep the happy feel consistent, so in the politest senses of the words,
Go away.
Friday, 1 October 2010
We're all in Love
Before I get on to what I want to talk about today, I want to share two pieces of news with you. One is great and one is rather upsetting...what do you want first? Well, I'll get the bad out the way. Tony Curtis died on Wednesday, and if you don't know who he was, you're an uncultured moron ;). He was a brilliant actor, comic and for more serious roles. His best role was probably in the film Some Like it Hot alongside the equally brilliant Jack Lemmon and the vastly underrated Marilyn Monroe. He fathered the acting talent that is Janet Leigh Curtis, and he claimed to have bedded many women (that's more amusing than something to be admired) He was a true great, that shall be missed.... In case you think I'm an idiot and don't know what I'm talking about, here's a scene from Some Like it Hot which always makes me laugh.
On the up side of life...I performed stand up (also on the Wednesday night) for the first time. Essentially, it was an open mic night, and I wasn't planning to perform, but I gave it a go...as I have thought of things I might use if I ever did stand up. You'll be pleased to know I didn't crash and burn, and it was surprisingly well received. I only did about two minutes of material, but people laughed and I may write some prepared stuff so I can fill the whole five minutes for next time (as that's all the time you get). I would share my material, but I don't want you stealing it you unfunny people ;)
I'll let that lie now, and talk about my original thoughts for this week's blog. It's about the use of the word love. It's an odd topic I know, and also a couple of my recent blogs have been about sex and love in general...so you must be sick of it. But I think it is important as love is a word people use a lot...without really meaning it. I do it, most people do it because it's quite hard to know when to say it. Of course, there's that possibility of the awful moment when your partner says that they love you and you think "Do I love them yet?" As you've hesitated, they know you don't and they look really hurt, and you'll feel guilty for something perfectly reasonable. Love is a delicate thing and should only be spoken of when you're really sure.
Easy peasy right? Wrong. I don't think anyone can define love, it's just something we think we know. However, love can be easily confused with lust or passion. I'll be honest, I'm twenty and I'm not sure if I can say if what I've felt for certain people is love. It's also a problem when you really like someone, and would gladly tell them you love them every second of the day, but then that's impossible but also rather clingy and then the word loses its meaning. I know words are just words, but the connotations, context and delivery should also be special for certain words. If you call someone a wanker, mean it yeah? ;)
One thing that really frustrates me is the use of the word love to friends. I do it too, but then we established long ago that I'm a hypocrite. I think it's okay in small quantities but at the core love is a word used to describe the feeling, well you can't define it as we've said, but it's a feeling between two people that goes deeper than friendship. Otherwise, you'd just be friends. So telling all your best buddies you love them then it sort of ruins the whole point? God people are thick. It's especially bad when bloody drunken idiots throw the word around. "I love you man", no you don't you're drunk and an idiot and when you're sober we hardly talk you absolute moron. I need a bit of a rant, recently I've been too depressed to rant, so apologies if that's what you come to read each week, a splurge of angry bile on a web page...sorry if I've let you down, I know I'm a disappointment.
So yeah, just food for thought, don't over use and don't blithely use it. I know it's a word, but for me the meaning is just as important. If I called you a cunt every day, three times a day, it would just become routine. If you're lucky enough to have someone you may love, or there is love there, then make them know you love them by all means, but don't over do it you big hapless romantic! The song is one by The New York Dolls...because we all think we're in love...but ask yourself, are you?
Now go away.
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